Late Nights at Cafe Escape

Part 4

"Hey, Kody," Alex greeted him.

Kody turned around. "Oh, hy! Alex! It's bayn sao lawng seence Oy lahst saw yah!"

Alex was momentarily taken aback by how strong Kody's accent was. It felt like lying on a bed of thorns, but if the thorns were made of gelatin. It was a very eerie sensation on her brain. However, she immediately regained her composure.

"It has been long, isn't it?" she said. "In fact, it's been so long that I don't think most of the people in the cafe remember who I was, or how close we used to be."

Kody smiled warmly. "Nao, Oy'm sure thy steell love yah. Oy mean, Oy unduhstahnd some people hawldin a grudge aguynst yah due t' - yah knaow - whaht hahppaened, buh' maowst people steell considah yah innocent. Oy definitely do."

"Thanks Kody," Alex was relieved. "Actually, that's what I wanted to talk to you about. I wa-" 

"Eh whaht's the hurry? Come, sit and hahve a beer weeth yoah old mate." Kody gestured towards the vacant barstool next to him. As Alex gingerly sat onto the barstool, Kody unzipped his trench coat which he was wearing indoors, and revealed an assorted collection of beer bottles hanging from hooks attached to the pockets of the coat. "Oy've gawt everything, whaht weell yah hahve?" he asked her.

"Have you got a Desperados?" Alex inquired.

"Oy daon't hahve thaht, actually."

"No worries. Can I have a Delirium then?"

"Oy daon't hahve thaht eithah, sohry."

"How about a Liefmans?"

"Nao, mate."

"Oh," Alex said. "Well, what beer do you have?"

"Oh, Oy've gawt a Jupiler and... thaht's oll actually. 15 bawttles of Jupiler."

Alex pursed her lips and grimaced. "I'll just have water, thanks."

"Sao taell me mate," Kody drawled, "whaht's bayn gaowin on?"

Alex took a deep breath. "Well, I just met Ladle..."

"Bloody oath, very scaray cunt, thaht Lahdle. Buh' she's hayps fun whaen peessed. She cuts shaypes loike a cruyzy beetch, and is a rayl larrikin, Oy taell yah."

Alex had no idea what Kody said.

"Well, yeah, so," she continued. "Ladle was not very pleased at my return. She believes her going to prison and serving time was my fault. And she basically threatened me, and told me she's out and hungry for revenge."

"Oh, thaht sounds bahd. Lahdle is bloody duyngerous, Alex," Kody remarked.

"I know," Alex whined. "That's why I need your help. I need you to really help me regain the trust of everyone in the cafe. I came to you because you know everyone, and everyone likes you. And you don't hate me, which is kind of like a pretty big deciding factor on whom to ask for help."

"Oy gawt yah, mate," Kody said as he stood up off his barstool. "And Oy knaow just whawm to stahrt weeth."

"The dawctoahs," he said.