"i will find her. whatever it takes."
~~~~~
this is a heizou x fem!reader fanfic
! all characters in this story are 18 or older and will be seen as such !
art credits to eli_zhong on pinterest for the cover!!
i do not own any of these characters e...
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back in teyvat, things weren't going well between you and the fatui. you hardly went to meetings with the harbingers, with the taritsa is never happy about. and you refuse to leave your office even tho half the time you're either gazing out your window or doing paperwork.
ever since the deal, you could never see the fatui the same. making you train all your life and making you a harbinger was one thing. forcing your family out of your world was another.
you were back at the same old place of the shoreline, going there whenever you need fresh air or just need to calm yourself.
reliving memories always made you happy. so going to a beach and thinking about heizou just changes your entire mood.
you were looking out to the ocean when you heard footsteps that crunched in the snow.
through instinct, you turned around, ready to summon your weapon.
that was when you made eye contact with the same indigo eyes that first led you to snezhnaya.
finally breaking eye contact, you sighed and turned back to see the ocean and it's sunrise. having no interest whatsoever.
but so for some reason, he just wanted your attention. so he walked up to you and sat next next to you on the sand.
you somewhat averted your gaze to the floor, away from scaramouche's eyes. but he suddenly spoke up to give you a reason to look his way.
"this might be weird to say. especially since it's coming from me." you looked his way and you stared into his beautiful indigo eyes.
"are you okay with all of this?" he voice seemed a lot softer than usual. from these words, you didn't seem to process since you found it odd that scaramouche is asking this and your lips were parted. "you know what i'm talking about."
you looked away from him, bringing your gaze back to the ocean. you shrugged one shoulder, accepting the fact that scaramouche wants you to open up to him.
you gulped, letting go of your burden "obviously not."
"well, obviously." he rolled his eyes jokingly. "what i mean is, why are you not okay with this? what has this deal been doing to you, your emotions?"
you took a moment to think about your response. you weren't sure that talking to scaramouche about your feelings is the best idea. but something about you felt like some part of him could be trusted.
"well..." you started. scaramouche lifted his head, indicating that he was ready to listen. "i feel like i was the one who abandoned them, betrayed them. i see all of them as family, but i feel like i just pushed them away like they were a figment from another world."
the farther away you looked into the wide seas, the more your tears watered up like the ocean is in your eyes.
"i just hope they're okay..." thinking about them, if they're not okay, made the tears in your eyes fall.
from embarrassment, you took your hood and put it over your head. you didn't want scaramouche to see your high rank disappear from how "weak" you were.
but that wasn't the case.
instead, he placed his hand on top of yours. he wasn't sure how to comfort you, so he just made a small action and hope it helps.
he also didn't want to do anything to make himself closer to you than he should.
for awhile, silence was upon the two of you. the only thing you could hear was the sound of the waves crashing onto the shore and your silent hiccups.
"but...why?" you finally said. "why are you suddenly acting like this, balladeer?"
silence was once again in the air. he was left speechless, not sure how to respond.
"i guess it's because i know how it would feel to be betrayed..."
what he said made you feel pity for him. making you look back his direction. you could barely tell, but it seemed like he was slightly tearing up.
you flipped your hand over to hold his hand in yours.
"i guess we're the same then..."
a/n: ANOTHER UPDATE YAYYY
i went to competition this weekend and we got #1 and #2 😎 so happy n proud.
i kinda want to start a scaramouche fanfic after this one (based off the 3.2 archon quest) cuz i watched his cutscene and omg i literally started tearing.
