Edmund Dereks

Fragment n° 2

Hello! So I know it might be kinda weird starting the book with no context whatsoever, no refrences to the past of the characters, no introduction of them, so I know you might be pretty confused at first. I should also let you know that this fragment is basically in my notes, before you start reading. I hope you like it. Let me know what you think about it, i'll really really appreciate if you do that. I'll look forward to it <3

"For some reason they all think having a therapist means you're locked up in a madhouse" she said "they think you're insane" she added.

"I think that's because they don't know much about mental health issues, they're not really educated on that matter. They're scared. You're afraid of the things you don't know" I said, my voice was very much lower compared to hers, but we were both talking quite calmly, and that was one thing i enjoyed about being in her company.

"Especially older generations. Those fuckers have no idea of how to deal with them, they're judgmental." She was looking down, but she raised her eyes to look at me shortly after. She had make-up on, a black smokey line at the corner of her eyes and a dark shade of redness was on her cherry lips.

"What about you?" she asked.

"About me?" I said, but the firmness in my tone made it seem as a statement instead of a question. She was attempting to find something in the pockets of her black leather jacket.

"Are you scared of me?" she said, a subtle smile appeared on her face. She opened the small box of cigarettes and pulled one of them out, then she placed it between her lips, her teeth were keeping it from falling.

"Why would i?" I said, but you could've said I seemed pretty unbothered by my voice. It's not like I paid too much attention to her question, I was pretty busy watching her while she was lighting up her cigarette.

"Aren't you?" She asked me after smoking, but she didn't get a response from me for what looked like a minute. She got silence instead, and somehow that made her giggle.

My facial expression was completely straight unlike hers, I was too focused on observing every movement of hers.

She blew into the cigarette so elegantly, then she pulled it away in such a delicate way, for her hand to flick the consumed ashes of tobacco from the burning end of the cigarette, which was now stained by her burgundy lipstick, and she exhaled the smoke from her mouth; that was the smoking ritual.

The stream of smoke inevitably filled my nostrils, and that unpleasant smell reminded me of my father's smoking ritual as well, a continuous loop I had been seeing my entire life.

"Do you think I'm insane?" She said bringing the cigarette to her mouth again, her nails were red like wine.

"I know you do" she was smiling in that soft way again, but her eyes were looking in mine that time. She smoked once-over.

Instinctively my hand reached her mouth to grasp the cigarette she had between her fingers and her lips.

She almost flinched, breaking her femme-fatale look for a second. The way she glanced at me, her eyes were wide open, she had to raise them up to be able to look at me, she seemed somehow scared, but she shrugged it off in a blink of an eye.

The switch was almost imperceptible, but for how small it was, I could see it in her eyes, she went back into character.

So she allowed me to take her cigarette without saying a word. She probably thought I was going to smoke too, but I didn't do as she expected, even though I wouldn't have minded sharing a cigarette with her.

Instead, I approached her face and I kissed her - in a very casual way, you could say. I did not really think twice about it, I just silently leaned in, as if I was about to tell her a secret.

I was holding her chin slightly up with my other hand, while my lips were touching hers, and she didn't reject them, she welcomed me instead, and soon our lips started playing together, crashing against each other in a very gentle way.

It became hard to detach from her, my hand muscles even forgot about the lit cigarette i was holding, it fell on the ground before i even noticed.

Her touch was so incredibly soft, smooth just like a rose petal. The way our lips were smooching so slowly, so easily. Her lips felt like butter, and those little click sounds were driving me insane.

It was almost as if her lips were sticky, like mine were glued to hers, or maybe, more realistically, I just simply didn't want to stop.

But I did, eventually.

"See you" were the only words I could find to say.

She was staring into my eyes completely speechless, but I left without hearing anything back.

That kiss seemed to have stunned her, she didn't speak once from the moment we stopped until I got far from her. My mind was frozen as well, stuck on her lips.

I surely didn't expect her to be that good at kissing, and that it would feel so good, that it would feel so good to kiss her, that she would make me feel so good.

I was deep in thought, my heart was pounding in my chest so fast, and my desire to kiss her again was growing more and more.

Those thoughts were keeping me company on my way home, but they also kept me in a bubble, and I was definitely not watching the road, so the chances of getting hit by a car, or by the tram, or even by a bike were probably very high.