Bride to Be

31: The First Steps to Being Okay Again

CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE: THE FIRST STEPS TO BEING OKAY AGAIN

July 27th, 2020

The first thing Gemma did upon arriving at the airport was block a few different phone numbers. It was not like Avery was going to try and reach out to Gemma, after the argument they had on Rowan's doorstep. There was no hesitation, or regret, when blocking Avery's number. The two were not friends -- they never were. Even in Gemma's agreeance to become a bridesmaid, she never once considered her friendship with Avery to be rekindled. It just made sense for her to block her number, because once Gemma was back in New York, she never intended on speaking to Avery ever again.

Though when it came time to blocking Rowan's phone number, Gemma's fingers shook and she almost dropped her phone multiple times before finally pressing the block button. It broke her heart to block his number, though after the conversation they had, Gemma knew it was the right thing to do. She knew in the back of her mind that they could never be together, even if he did call off the wedding. Gemma suddenly realized this on the drive to the airport. Even if they confessed their love for one another and Rowan did break things off with Avery, Gemma's life was in New York. And Rowan was in Michigan. It simply would just never work. It broke Gemma to block his number, because she did love him, and that likely would never change, unless she met someone better. Though as she watched his now blocked number erase from her contacts, Gemma did not believe there was anyone better than Rowan.

The third contact she blocked was Wesley's, and although this also broke her heart, Gemma felt as if she had to do it. Wes was connected to Rowan, and although Gemma valued the friendship she shared with Wes, she knew it could no longer go on without Rowan in her life. It would just be too awkward, considering the reason Gemma was even friends with Wes in the first place was because of Rowan. Regret radiated throughout Gemma as she watched Wesley's number erase from her phone screen.

Once all three numbers were gone, erasing them all from Gemma's life for good, she put her phone in her small bag that carried the rest of her belongings. She stared into the distance of the airport, waiting for her flight to be called. Somehow, Marcie was able to book them a last minute flight back to New York due to a cancellation. So here Gemma sat, with her dad, Liv, and Marcie -- because she was too angry with her mother and Jax. Gayle insisted she should drop the girls off at the airport, to which Gemma refused. Her dad, who was actually home at 5pm, insisted he would drop the girls off. He never once questioned Gemma about why she was so mad at Gayle, which led Gemma to believe that her mother had already told him about everything that had happened only hours before.

On her way out of the house, Gemma did not hug Gayle goodbye. She did not say a word to Jax, either.

"How are you feeling?" Liv asked Gemma, who had zoned out after ridding her phone from her hands.

"Anxious to get home," Gemma attempted to smile, though fell short as her lips refused to curve upward. It had been months since her New York apartment had seen any light. She was longing to lay in her queen sized bed, which was much more comfortable than her twin sized bed here in Michigan. Laying in her bed and watching American Horror Story sounded like a dream.

"I understand," Olivia sighed. She placed her head on Gemma's shoulder, wishing she would have spent more time with her sister this summer. Liv was the one who begged Gemma to stay, though as Gems' shifts at Target were piling up and wedding planning was taking place, Olivia did not see her sister as much as she wished to. "I'm gonna miss you."

"You can always visit me," Gemma hugged her sister tightly, feeling her eyes water once again.

"Like mom would let me travel alone," Liv rolled her eyes. She'd always begged to go and visit Gemma before, though Gayle was extremely against letting her daughter travel by herself.