Lifeline | A Bucky Barnes fanfiction

chapter 1

"James, we talked about this. You need to start living a normal life, you have to try." The doctor said.

"I am trying, doc." Bucky huffed. "No, you are not, you don't want to socialize and you're ignoring the few people that have tried to contact you." She said as she went though his phone.

"I don't want to talk to Sam. At least not yet." He said annoyed. "What about Anabela? What did she do?" She asked.

"Anabela?" He gasped. "I see I got some reaction from that name." She looked up at him and gave him the phone back as she began to write on her notebook.

"Writing. Excellent." Bucky huffed as he took the phone and went back to messages.

Hey, Bucky. I hope you're okay... I miss you.

His heart started racing as he read it. "Who's Anabela?" She asked him as he studied his face. "Old friend" He said in a whisper as he was still thinking about the words she had sent. He missed her too, she was the only person she actually missed right now, or at least the one he could get back if he wanted to but he knew he shouldn't. He left because she deserved a better life, he left because it did not matter how much therapy he did he would never be normal, he could never give her a normal life and she should have that. "You're in Deep thought, James." The doctor said as she was staring at him waiting for him to talk.

"She helped me when I was... him." He simply said. "Care to elaborate on that?" She asked. "She was Sam's friend. We needed somewhere to stay for a while because everyone that helped me at the time was a runaway... they trusted her and she... trusted me... she believed in me." He stuttered as he spoke as if he was realizing something too, as if he was reminiscing on the first time she layed her beautiful brown eyes on him.

*FLASHBACK*

He was sat on the small sofa of Anabela's tiny apartment's living room. "Hello, Sergeant Barnes." She smiled softly. "I'm Anabela. You're welcome to stay here for as long as you need." She continued as she slowly approached him.

"Thank you for letting us stay here, ma'am." Steve said, leaving Natasha and Sam in the kitchen discussing their next move. "Any friend of Sam is a friend of mine." She replied with an honest smile and Bucky could not help but wonder if her and Sam were something more than Friends. "Besides helping Captain America seems like the right thing to do." She pat him on the back and he simply smiled at her.

"Sarge, can I take a look at your wounds... I'm not an expert but I might be able to help you." She turned to him once again waiting for his approval. "I'm not going to hurt you, I promise." She reassured him and even though he did not fully trust anyone at that moment apart from Steve, she seemed like someone he could rely on.

He nodded and she grabbed the aid kit. "Are you sure... I-I could lash out on you." He muttered under his breath. "I lash out on people too sometimes." She smiled softly as she started treating his external wounds. "It might sting a litte." She said.

He continued to stare at her as she was treating his chest, his arm... she was doing it so carefully, she did not seem afraid of him, she just did not want to hurt him, she knew from what Sam had told her that he had been through a lot of pain. "You're going to be okay, Sargeant Barnes." She smiled at him.

"It's Bucky." He said almost in a whisper. "You're going to be okay, Bucky." She smiled at him and exit the room with the aid kit in her hands.

*FLASHBACK*

"She sounds like someone you would want to be close to." The doctor shook him out of his thoughts. "Call her, James." She said.

"I can't just do that." He replied. "Call her, James, you need to do something with your life."

"I'll do something." He sighed as he exit the room.

She jumped when she felt her cellphone vibrate against her leg. She could not believe her eyes when she saw the name on the little screen.

"Bucky?" She asked in disbelief. "Hey." He replied. "I didn't actually expect you to call... or text." She said.

"How are you?" She asked concerned. "I'm okay... I was in therapy when I received your message." He confessed. "I'm trying." He muttered.

"I'm proud of you, Buck." He knew she meant that. "Where are you, Anabela?" He asked trying to avoid being the subject of the conversation. "I'm right where you left me... you left me no choice but to stay here." She held back a tear as she spoke. "You know why I left... are you coming to Steve's... you know." He asked hopeful. "I wasn't invited, Buck... I am still black listed for... you know..." She stuttered.

"Because of me, because you helped me." He sighed. "I would do it again." She said. "Steve would want you here." Bucky whispered. "He's not here anymore, Buck, it doesn't really matter what he would want." She sighed and he knew she was right but that's not exactly what he meant. "What I meant is... that I would want you here." He admitted. "Buck... I can't... I can't say goodbye to you... again." She could not hold it in anymore. "What if we don't say goodbye?" He asked hopeful barely keeping it together as well. "Please talk to Sam, okay? I'll see you soon." She said and hung up leaving him without the opportunity to say something.

Bucky wasn't sure about how to feel after that call, he had missed her, hearing her voice moved him in a way nothing had in a long time, he suddenly went back to a few years ago when he was unsure, confused but felt a Little bit fuzzy everytime she smiled at him, looked at him or gently touched him. He was going to see her soon, or at least that was what she made him believe with how she ended the conversation so he needed to call Sam, or at least let him know he's still alive... maybe tomorrow, he thought.