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( chapter three ! ) - 𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬
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Nightmares were a regular occurrence for Robin.
She had them almost every night. And the problem was, they weren't normal nightmares, they usually consisted of memories—of James' face when he had promised her he would follow her everywhere, and of the police officers going around the train station with a picture of her, asking people if they had seen her while she couldn't spot James anywhere.
Sometimes, she dreamt of her seventeenth birthday—in that scenario, she was never in her own, younger body, but rather an observer. She didn't know why her brain was tricking her into having to watch her own trauma over and over again, night after night. But by now, though her chest still hurt whenever she woke up, she was used to it. Was used to the desperate urge to change the past even though she knew she couldn't.
She could deal with it now.
Though by now she had also mastered the art of not thinking about it during the day, sometimes the nightmares also haunted her when the sun was out. It was as if her own mind was taunting her—it was as if there was a tiny voice in her head saying, You may have gotten away, but at what cost?
Robin tried to oppress those ugly thoughts when she stood next to Rick Grimes the next day, looking down at the map he had laid out on the hood of one of their cars. Andrea stood on her left side, and when Robin looked at her, she smiled.
"All right, everyone's getting new search grids today," Rick announced, tracing his hands across the map while his gaze wandered around. He looked at all of his own people who stood here with him until his eyes finally found Robin. That's where his attention stayed for a few more moments. "Robin wants to help, so she's joinin' us today."
Daryl, who stood beside T-Dog, rolled his eyes as he put on a brown flannel.
"If Sophia made it as far as the farmhouse Daryl found, she might've gone further east than we've been so far," Rick said.
None of them noticed Jimmy coming up until he spoke, "I'd like to help. I know the area pretty well and stuff."
Jimmy was Otis' son. He had started dating Beth a few months ago, and Robin knew him long enough to know that he had no hunting experience whatsoever—much less knew how to track something or someone. But all she did was cock a brow and stay quiet. After all, it wasn't like she knew how to do either of those things.
