The Things I Never Got To Say

Untitled

I lay in my bed, watching my white ceiling, in silence

Watching the thoughts curving and beating,

And I become aware that, that's all I am

I am my thoughts,

I am my mind and my heart, without a body

I am what I make myself to be

I am me in the absence of a them,

I am them in the absence of a me

I translate and become foreign

A version of the sentence, in somebody else's tongue

One I can't understand but can recognize

And I go through the day and repeat it

I say it once, twice, a hundred times,

Until I have it memorized

Until it's embedded in my mind

And it becomes natural to say,

It becomes a part of me

And my thoughts become blurry with the language I once could speak,

And my mind becomes a roundabout street,

That keeps going on and on and on

So that they could understand when my mouth moves

With the sentence I have overused

But it's too late to learn another,

I don't need it to survive

Because once I am all alone

And my day is over

I lay in my bed, watching my white ceiling, in silence.