My World In Hers

𝙸 𝚍𝚘𝚗'𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚗𝚊 𝚖𝚒𝚜𝚜 𝚢𝚘𝚞

Wednesday.

This week was overall a shitty one and I thought it was going to be a great one since the parents were gone.

But I was wrong.

Somehow seeing her across the room and in class and not being able to talk to her was undeniably painful.

Yeah I just admitted that.

I thought she was the one getting attached and annoying me but I was wrong I was the one getting attached and now well this is happening.

She didn't respond to my texts.

Ignored me.

So this is how it feels.

I was fed up and decided to just leave the cafeteria and go to the bathroom to rinse my face.

I had planned some sort of surprise for her because I discovered she stays behind after school and plays a violin.

So today is the day.

The bell rang signalling the end of the day and I ran to the music room.

It's now or never I told myself.

So this might sound corny and weird and probably stupid but I was doing it anyway.

She had previously told me she loved sunflowers  and well she said she loved Billie Eilish so I may have organised something small.

I placed a bouquet of sunflowers and chocolates with strawberries and I was going to save the backstage pass to Bille Eilish's concert for later.

I basically decorated the whole table she sat in with flowers and candy and I wrote a note saying can we talk? With a sad face on it as I hid behind the door where they kept some of the equipment to clean the instruments.

I heard someone walk in and I peeped to see her standing next the table with the note in her hand, I had never done shit like this before so I hoped it worked.

" Can we talk?" I said coming out and walking towards her and she dropped the note and looked at me.

She looked up at me with watery eyes. "Okay." She said with a sigh placing her things down and sat on a chair. I knelt in front of her .

"Are you angry at me? Did I do something wrong?" I asked looking up at her honey eyes wanting to hear from her if I did something wrong.

"No."

"So what's going on?"

She looked at the side and  tears fell from her honey coloured eyes.

"I don't wanna be like the other girls you've been with. The ones you just sleep with and leave and I can't help but feel like I'm being used like them. I don't wanna miss you like they all do and I don't want you staying with me only to leave when you get tired of me or see someone better." She said in one breath while more tears fell from he eyes the sight breaking me.

I would have asked what was she being worried about because we were just friends but I figured I shouldn't because she looked really hurt.

I sighed. "Nat I want you know something. I know you are well aware of my reputation and everything that I did. I won't deny anything because it's all true. All those girls I was with there was nothing going on between us they were just there when I needed a way to relieve stress but with you it's different I like your soul and I don't and will never treat you that way. I'm well aware of my past mess ups but I don't want you to walk out of my life because of things that I did. I want you to know that I have left everything behind and I won't ever do it again as long as you stay and please never doubt or question my feelings fo your because I really appreciate you in my life." I said remaining shallow because I didn't know what was happening between us and I was telling them truth I hadn't been with another girl for a while now .