Stockholm Syndrome

  I remember the sweet aroma of a vanilla cigar. I remember as I would inhale, the smoke would burn my throat, but just a bit. I remember the faint sound of the radio playing as we drove. I remember watching the lights come and go as we passed by them. I remember staring at him as he drove, and I remember him looking back at me, and telling me how much he loved me.

But those are all just distant memories now. All of those beautiful memories, they now haunt me. All of those fun times and wild conversations that we would hold for hours, now drag me back into place.

The signs were there, but at the time, they seemed funny. He acted like he was joking, he would say he was joking, but I would later find out that he was lying.

A sociopath is a person with a personality disorder manifesting itself in extreme antisocial attitudes and behavior and a lack of conscience

When he told me he loved me, I believed him. Everything he told me, I believed. Why is there ever a need to lie? I knew why there were reasons to lie, there are plenty, but everything seemed to be so perfect. Just in those moments with him, I felt like everything was ok. Like the world stopped spinning, people stopped moving, and time stood in place. I felt like we were on top of the world. But when you get so high, your fall is only that much farther. The more I remind myself of that, the more I want to go back in time and tell myself that.

I remember when he used to hold me, I remember how he would hold my hand when we walked together. I remember how he would always hold the door for me, and I remember how he kissed me when we danced together. His lips were soft and sweet, his breath smelled of smoke with a hint of sweet vanilla. I would get butterflies in my stomach whenever he kissed me. I felt safe with him, but all of those things blinded me, all of those things kept me from seeing what I really needed to see.

I could never see a single bad thing in him, to me he was perfect, just like out of a movie. I only ever wanted somebody like him, ever since I was able to think for myself.

I had never really minded the little arguments that we would have, they never really were anything serious. But he would get angry and so would I. They were over stupid little dumb things, so it never bothered me all too much. But he would say things that were a bit threatening, but I would quickly forget about it when he would apologize and hug me. Everything he did blinded me, his hugs, his kisses, our funny conversations. He had kept a side of himself away from me, or he kept his real self away from me. All of the signs were there, little threats, distance, arguments, anger to where he might hit something or get up in my face. They were just little things, something somebody might do everyday and really not mean it.

I look back at it now and wish my past self wasn't so stupid or blind. Sometimes I blame myself for what happened... I still love him, and I think I always will. But one thing is for sure, he will always have a special place in my heart, and I will never forget him.

Chapter 1

What a funny way to meet somebody...

We didn't know each other from school, or since we had been kids. We did not meet in your typical romantic or friend of a friends way. We met each other when I accidentally backed up into his car. Once I realized I had just hit somebody's car I pulled forward and quickly got out. I was 18 at the time, and had not been driving for that long. I was in a panic. Repeating over and over again, "I'm so so sorry!" and to my surprise the guy was calm. Tears streaming down my cheek I watched him look at his car then mine, then walk over to me. "It's quite alright." He laughed, "And don't worry I'm not mad. I have been in your situation one to many times." His laughing calmed me down a bit, and I laughed a little myself. Once I finally got a good look at him I became embarrassed, he looked around my age, and to me, he looked like a model. "My name is Isaac." He said as he put his hand out to shake mine. "Oh, my name is Rose." I said as I wiped away my tears with one hand and used the other to shake his. "Don't worry about it, you didn't do much damage to either of our cars, there are only a few dents." Isaac motioned to the tail end of my car and the front of his. He was right, there were only small dents on both of our cars. I sighed in relief and directed my attention back to him. "I am really sorry, I was just in a hurry." Isaac smiled and nodded, "I get that." There was a bit of awkward silence. But after a few long seconds Isaac finally broke it off, "Well," Isaac said clapping his hands together, "I think I am going to sue anyways." He laughed but it didn't process in my mind that he was joking. I started to panic and he quickly realized, "No no I am kidding." Isaac laughed, "Relax, Rose is it?" I nodded as I calmed down and giggled at the situation. "I am sure we can make a deal, your number and a date?" I stood there surprised at what Isaac was asking me. Hell I thought he was just joking again. I laughed a bit but the expression on his face did not say he was joking. "Oh." I laughed to myself and nodded grinning from ear to ear. "Sure." I went to my car and grabbed a piece of paper and pen and wrote down my number for him. "Thanks." He said as he took the paper and stuffed it in his back pocket. "I will call you later, try not to be in such a hurry." He laughed and so did I.