Things That Need To Pass (passerine!Technoblade x OC) {COMPLETED}

Savior In Green (2)

(Eryn POV)

"Techno. You're okay." I comforted. 

Then someone spoke up.

(3rd person)

"Techno." Philza's voice was a distant thing. "We need to talk."

"Talk?" Techno whirled around, shrugging Philza's hand off his shoulder. The other god simply backed away, giving Techno his space. Techno hated that almost as much as the blank look on Philza's face. "What is there to talk about?"

"About—" Philza swallowed, leaning against the table as if he could not bear his own weight any longer. "About why I left." "Your son is dead." The words tasted like ash on his tongue. "His corpse is right in front of you, and you want to talk about yourself?"

Philza flinched, but that was the extent of his reaction. "This is important. You have to understand—" "What is there left for me to understand?" "It's not over." Philza's eyes bore through him. "The war isn't over."

Techno exhaled heavily. "Don't screw with me right now. I'm done. I'm finished." "Would it help," Philza said slowly, "if I told you the leader of the Green Army—its general, its ruler, whatever—is still out there?"

Techno blinked, hot tears still stinging his eyes. "What?"

Philza's lips drew into a thin line—a habit Techno recognized from their empire days as something Philza did when he was trying not to scream. "I left for a thousand different reasons, Techno. When my—when she died, I just knew. 

"Though the pain of losing her was more than I could bear, I knew something worse would come. And it did come—sooner than I expected, but it came." He glanced at Tommy, his expression undecipherable. "Her death destroyed me. "

"But I knew the day I lost my sons would be the day I destroyed the world." His eyes slid to Techno. "You understand that, I think."

Eryn looked on in confusion.

"I do." Technoblade did not want to agree with him on anything, but there was no other explanation for the voices slowly getting louder and louder inside his head. He was beginning to lose himself. He already had, if he'd hurt Wilbur like that. 

It had only been a few hours. There was no telling what he could do—what he would become—later. He stared at Philza, for once realizing that the Angel of Death might be called that for a reason.

"We gods are different. Our grief is infinite, but so is our power." Philza looked down at his hands. "No being should have both. Grief, in a mortal, already does so much fucking damage. In us, it will be a thousand times worse. 

So I did the only thing I felt could save me—save everyone—from my grief." Blue eyes found red. "Have you heard of the Green God, Technoblade?"

Techno found himself nodding. The Green God. An infamous force, but a mystery to all. Technoblade had found the name carved into trees older than civilization, and written into the mortals' holy texts.

Philza smiled. "The Green God could bring him back." The rest of the world fell away. And in its place, hope. "That's why..." A single tear—the last of its kind, the last Techno could give—fell down Techno's cheek, warm and light. "That's why you aren't breaking down right now."

"Oh." Philza gave him a sad smile. "Believe me, old friend, I am completely losing it. I just had more practice at hiding it than you. Knowing I can revive my son doesn't do shit for the pain of seeing him die in the first place."

"And your wife...?"

That sobered Philza quickly. "I don't know. The texts I read—and there were millions—had conflicting stories about the Green God's rules. What he can and can't do. They all agree he's powerful. Even more powerful than you and me combined, I reckon. 

But he can bring back Tommy, and right now that's the only thing that matters." Techno was quiet for a moment, simply processing the weight of Philza's revelation. Then he said, "Couldn't you have said all that before I broke Wilbur's face?"

Philza grimaced. "I'm sorry. I was... well, losing it, as I said. You know me." Techno nodded. "I do know you. Always gone in the aftermath, aren't you?" "Techno—" "You could have stayed to explain," Techno said quietly. "Or you could have taken me with you."

They both knew he wasn't talking about just Tommy anymore.

Philza shook his head sadly. "What gave me the strength to leave the night my wife died, Techno, was the knowledge that you were staying behind. I'd seen what you were becoming to the boys, and what the boys were becoming to you. I knew I could leave, because they had you."

"But who did I have, Phil?" Techno demanded.

Philza's eyes widened. "Techno, that's—"

"Me and you," Techno went on, not hearing anything beyond the pounding of his own heart. "That's what you said. So where were you when I was crashing through an entire library's worth of books on history and politics and godsdamned etiquette just to fit in in a life I never asked for? 

Where were you when Tommy was waking up from nightmares almost every night, or when Wilbur was pulling his hair out over being king at sixteen? Where were you when the voices got so loud for the both of us that we had to take turns reminding each other to breathe?"

There was a sharp crack, startling both Techno and Philza. They looked down at that table Philza had been leaning on, only to find a chunk of it had broken clean off in Philza's hand. "Oh." Philza stared uncomprehendingly at the cracked pieces in his hand. 

"That's—" He looked helplessly at Techno. "What do I do now?" Technoblade crossed his arms. "Apologize, for one thing." Eryn nodded along, finally happy to be part of a conversation.

"For the table or for leaving?" At Technoblade's unimpressed look, Philza winced. "Sorry. That was... my awful attempt at humor, I suppose." He took a deep breath, dropping the broken pieces from his hand. "I know I have a lot to be sorry for," he began.

Techno sighed. "There's going to a 'but' now, isn't there?"

"But," Philza continued, meeting Techno's disappointed stare head-on, something close to sadness flickering over his face, "we have the rest of our lives for my atonement. I will apologize to you every minute of every day, once this is all over. 

I will never stop trying to make it up to you, but it will have to wait once we're safe. Once we're all home." He glanced pointedly at Tommy, then back at Techno. "Like I said, this war isn't over. The Green God is still out there. This was simply his invitation."

"An invitation?" Techno thought about the thousands of corpses—enemy and ally—buried underneath the rubble of exploded mountains. His trident and whip, still slick with blood. What had the war god said? I'm merely a pawn in this game. "Is this all a joke to him?"

Philza nodded tightly. "He's more god than the both of us."

"You calling me a mortal, Philza?"

"That depends." Philza smiled gently. "Do you still think it's an insult?"

a/n

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