Smoking In the Boys Room // Destiel

Chapter 32

"Excited?" 

Castiel glanced over at Dean as they meandered slowly through the hallway. "For what?" 

It was after school, that awkward transition phase in a high school between bustling and complete silence. There were still a few students lingering, a few clubs meeting, a few teachers bustling--but for the most part, everything was calm and quiet. This peace became a safe haven for the unconventional couple. 

"For tonight, for the news." Dean said, looking back with an unconscious smiile.

Cas shrugged. "Sort of." 

Dean laughed. "Not the level of enthusiasm I was expecting." 

"Well," Cas said quietly. "This decision means big, world altering changes. A lot of them will be good, but I can't bring myself to think about the bad ones. I know there's bound to be some." 

He looked at the fading beige tile on the floor. His hands stuffed into the pockets of his beloved leather jacket, shoulders slumped, gate unsure and teetering. 

Dean looked at him sadly, his heart aching. "Cas, I think I know what you're getting at and I told you." He glanced around and lowered his voice significantly. "I  shouldn't factor into this choice at all. Don't even worry about it because it won't be an issue. That's....that's all I feel comfortable saying here, but you already know where I stand, ok?"

Cas finally looked up, nodding. 

"I know."

~~~~~~~

Castiel lay on his bed staring up at the ceiling, on speakerphone with Jo. 

"Have you told her yet?"

Silence followed. 

"Jo?"

"No, I haven't. She asked earlier but I didn't say anything." 

Castiel sighed. "Jo-"

She cut him off. "What? I can't anyway. She left to go grocery shopping 20 minutes ago." The defensive tone in her voice was obvious.

"She'll be happy for you! Why won't you just tell her?" Cas was exasperated at this point. "If I withheld this information from Gabe and Anna they'd literally be foaming at the mouth." 

"Well, not everyone has amazing, wonderful, supportive siblings that will cheer them on regardless of whatever irresponsible thing they decide to do!" Jo snapped. 

Cas was stunned into silence. 

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that." 

"Is that...is that what you think of me?" Cas said quietly, sitting up. 

Jo quickly backpedaled. "No, no that's not-that's not what I meant."

Cas couldn't think of a response. 

Jo took the opportunity to explain herself. "I'm just...Everyone is really stressed about money and neither Ellen or Bobby went to college so they don't really see it as a necessary expense. They're just fixated on how much it costs when they see no benefit in me going. I'm sorry, I just...I wish they were more like Gabriel and Anna." 

"I'm sorry, Jo." Castiel said sadly. 

"No I'M sorry, it's not an excuse." Jo said dejectedly. 

"If it makes you feel any better, my situation isn't all that different. I don't know how the hell I'm even going to start paying for college. Stripping, maybe." Castiel laughed. 

Jo chuckled. "I've heard feet pics go for a lot these days." 

"You might be onto something with that."