It was hot; the fire roaring in Felix's ears as he looked around. He couldn't see beyond the fire. His heart was pounding in his chest and tears rolled down his cheeks. He was so scared. He was so lost as he tried to find a way out. The thick smoke was burning in his eyes and lungs. He was having a hard time breathing.
"Help!" he called out, turning around to look for a way out of the inferno around him. He coughed, his lungs and throat burning. The fire was around him like a circle, creeping closer as the seconds passed by. A sob tore through his chest. He felt so helpless, so lost. "P-please."
"You're an abomination," came a voice from beyond the flames, ringing so loud in Felix's ears. "Things like you don't deserve life."
"B-but I-"
"You deserve to burn in hell for what you've done," another voice said and Felix's breath hitched.
"You're not like us. You don't deserve to be treated kindly by us." The fire was so hot and it hurt. It hurt so much. More voices came, blending together and their message was so clear in Felix's ears.
He deserved to die.
"Felix!" Chan called out, giving Felix's shoulder a shake and Felix bolted up to sit upright. He was breathing heavily, vision blurred with tears and his hair sticking to his sweaty forhead. He looked over to Chan, swallowing hard as he tried to calm his breathing. "Are you okay?" Chan asked. He was sitting beside Felix, looking way better than he had been the night before. "You looked like you had a really bad nightmare."
"I'm fine," Felix said as he found the words again. He stared down at his burned hands, his breathing slowly calming down. "It was just a dream," he whispered, more to himself than to Chan. "Just a dream."
"You're okay," Chan whispered, reaching out a hand to stroke Felix's hair. "You're okay and safe."
Felix nodded, his mouth dry and he sniffled as Chan began to dry the tears that rolled down his cheeks. "Thank you," he murmured, inhaling sharply and Chan hummed. "We should continue," he said, attempting to stand up but Chan placed a hand on his shoulder, gently pushing him back down.
"We don't have to hurry just yet," he said, patting Felix's head. "You look like you need a moment to catch your breath."
"No it's fine," Felix protested but Chan shook his head.
"Let us at least have breakfast," he said and Felix's shoulders slumped; he nodded, his eyes fixed at his hands. His head felt like it was stuffed with cotton and he was just vaguely aware of Chan standing up. He kept his eyes on his hands, on the burned and scarred skin and he exhaled shakingly as he opened and closed his hands, watching the skin move over his joints; the voices kept ringing in his ears.
He didn't deserve to live.
He wasn't sure how long he just sat there, voices echoing in his head and the dream still flashing before his eyes. It wasn't until Chan called his name again that he finally looked up, the voices fading away as he focused on Chan's voice.
"You sure you don't want to talk about it?" Chan asked as he took a bite of the mush that was supposed to be porridge. Felix sighed, shaking his head a little. "Do you get nightmares often?"
"I... Not every night but... often," Felix murmured, taking a bite of the food as well. As he chewed, he looked over Chan. Chan looked better and he seemed to move better than yesterday as well. "How are you feeling?"
"Very good, actually," Chan said and Felix hummed, nodding his head a little. "Whatever you did seemed to help a lot."
"I'm glad," Felix said, relief creeping up on him and a small smile stretching on his lips. "We should try to get as close to Tremorndin as possible today... The quicker we get up into the mountains the better."
"You got a point," Chan said slowly, nodding his head a little. "But won't there be a lot of guards along Tremorndin?"
"Don't know," Felix said truthfully, shoulders dropping a little. "I think the humans are focusing their army down by the Eldmorndin," he continued and Chan nodded along as he spoke, brows knitted together and eyes distant. "But I guess we should be careful either way as we approach."
Chan hummed as Felix stood up. He glanced down at his bowl, sighing over the dirty bowl and looked around. They hadn't quite made it to the Crowuld river yet, but they were close. They should pass two more streams before they could reach the safest passage of the Tremorndin mountain ridge.
"Let's just wash the dishes when we get to Crowuld," he said and Chan nodded, standing up. Felix kept a close eye on him as he got ready for the day to come. He looked a lot better today, moving in a smoother way. Relief washed over Felix. Maybe they would be able to travel further today.
