The feeling of feeling alone and lost is the worst feeling ever. I'm used to it though . I smile through all the pain , and laugh through all tears. I'm always there for those who need me even though they don't care about me . It's not my fault I'm a caring person. Through my life people have walked out and in , but mostly out. I listen to a lot Of Mice & Men , and Suicide Silence music . Their music gives me hope in life.
"Sierra."
I hear my mom call out from them back room.
"Yes mom?"
I wait for a response , no response. I walk to the back of the room quietly . There I see her , passed out snoring on the couch. oh , have I mentioned my mom is the only one who hasn't gave up on me. I help her out with everything , she's my everything. I cover her up with her blanket every night she comes home a falls asleep on the couch. I don't mind it at all. Don't even let me start talking about my dad. I was never his little princess , he gave up on me when I was 13. That's when I started "fucking up" in life , I been told.
"ding-doooonnng!" The bell rings . I walked to the door , and this dark skinned boy is standing there smiling at me.
"Best friend!" he yelled .
Zachk has been my best friend for seven years now. He's been there for me more than my family . I find that sad. He hugged me , his hugs make me feel loved. And that's a great feeling.
"I just stopped by to tell you some bad news."
I stare at him. He takes out his phone and shows me a post some girl wrote about me saying ,
"Sierra cuts. ! Guys you must keep away sharp objects away from her ."
I felt the tears coming , he hold me. I feel my heart shrinking. I pushed him away and pulled up my sleeve.
"People think that's funny ?! Keep sharp objects away from me ? No ! How about keeping the problems away , she don't even know me !"
"Relax."
I looked at him , and I ran , as far as I can go.
The wind whispers in my ear, while the pain is eating me alive. I see the darkness in those who look at me, the devils smile on those are precious. My madness is going beyond. Holy god please forgive me , the razor screams my name , while my wrist sits and waits. Cut came so deep , no returns. Blood like tears, drip . drip . My vision getting blurry .
"Sierra! Stop !" Zachk's voice fades ..
The next morning I wake up in the hospital , alone. No surprise there. Then I see , Zachk walk in with this tall pale looking guy. Pretty cute.
" Sierra , this is Alexandre. I told him so much about you and he just had to meet you."
I smiled at him. He waved. But there was something about that wave that got to me like as if I knew we we're going to be really close. That night Zachk had went home but Alexandre stood.
" Why are you still here?' I whispered.
He looked at me . "You don't deserve what is happening to you . You're beautiful ...'" He mumbled.
We look at eachother , I smile. He came to lay next to me. He held my hand. And that's when I knew Alexandre is going to be with me through everything. That night I had a weird dream , it was about Alexandre. But , after what he said that night that's all I can think about. Somebody actually calling me "Beautiful" Pretty amazing. I been in the hospital for almost a week now , they're saying i may need counseling to talk about my life. I honestly don't think I need it . But life never goes the way you want . I mean , I know I have problems but I'm still here alive smiling . And it's not like I'm the only one who ever hurt themselve... right ?
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