Heartglass

Heartglass 34: The Offering

AZALEA

My mind wandered as we travelled to the rough roads, into the woods and watched as the autumn leaves slowly turned blazing red and fell to places. It was the start of autumn and somehow I remembered the day I entered the palace as one of the candidates for the selection.

Time really went too fast and who would have thought that I would really become queen?

But being a queen was never as easy as I thought. Being a queen meant I was responsible for the lives of my people. Being a queen meant I must put their sufferings and worries to an end. Being a queen meant being selfless.

Because this kingdom plummeted into a down spiral and was shaken to the core, I selflessly put myself in a dangerous position for the people just to ease their anxiety.

I wouldn't wish for more deaths so I bargained in exchange for my own life. If I failed to find a way out of this curse, maybe I had to accept, even though I couldn't fathom it, that the right answer was really my death. It was frightening but maybe such a tragic fate was really my destination. If this curse really started from me then it should end with me.

I tried to cast away the dread glooming my heart. Deep inside me, I couldn't accept this kind of ending but I must keep a strong front. I must hide my weakness. I must hide that I was weak not only against love but also against fear. Guess I'm still human in the end, despite my heart being made of glass. I'm not some kind of a coldhearted monster. Well, that's a little comforting.

"Care to share what you are thinking?" Dion probed so I instinctively whirled to face him just to realize that he was staring at me with intense deep blue eyes.

A sudden realization hit me hard. It made me shiver that if I died, I would no longer see his deep ocean eyes. I would no longer taste his sweet kisses and hear his deep voice. That if I died, I would miss him so badly that I would wish to be resurrected back from the dead just to see him again.

A little smirk formed in the corner of my lips to hide my real emotions—to hide my real fears. "Will you really accompany me to death?" I teased just to lighten the heavy feeling looming in my heart.

"Will you really die for them?" Dion asked back with scrunched brows. He retained his intense gaze, testing my resolve.

I arched my brow, not planning to back down. "What if I really need to die?"

"She's not you," Dion insisted with such intensity that made me recoil.

"H-How do you know that? What if I'm really her reincarnation? What if I'm really her?" My voice croaked.

Dion knitted his brows into a frown. "Do you ever feel that you're the same as her? That your souls are really connected? Do you ever feel that you're one with her? I bet that's not the case."

There was a sudden pause between us as we stared at each other's eyes. I opened my mouth to speak but decided to close it again, hesitating. I racked my brains to answer all his questions. But then, his words suddenly hit me right through my gut.

I bit my bottom lip. I cleared my throat. "N-No. I don't feel that way. I feel like I'm my own person. And we're different. I don't think we're connected at all but. . . why am I seeing her memories? I'm really confused. I don't know what to think now."

"You only saw some of her memories. Do you feel like those memories were actually happening to you?" Dion prodded further.

I shook my head. "I feel like I'm an outsider. Like I'm only made to watch all her memories. Like I'm standing on the sidelines."

Dion heaved a deep sigh. A relieved smile tugged on his lips. "Then you're not really her reincarnation. What if Celeste just wants you to witness some of her memories? So you'll understand her? Maybe she's actually trying to tell you something. But we can't figure that out yet."