*The Aftermath studio is decorated*
Ariana: Welcome back to this complete waste of time garbage of a show!
Kim: Not just any complete waste of time garbage of a show ... The 100th complete waste of time garbage of a show!
Ariana: Oh yeah, forgot to mention that part ... This is the 100th episode in the Fantasy series! Whoopty doo!
Kim: Though I do feel somewhat honored to be a part of such a milestone, I still want to get the fuck out of here! My lawyers are doing a pretty shitty job at getting me out of this.
Ariana: And your lawyers are my lawyers! So I'm not doing any better!
Elise: Can you girls get on with this already?!
Ariana: No one asked you bitch!
Kim: Anyway, in this special episode, we'll be reflecting on how far the series has come — At least, that's what we're supposed to do.
Ariana: Yeah, we don't really care that much! So we're not gonna try that hard to make this special!
Jordan: Damn, such a party killer.
Kim: There's a lot to get in this short amount of time we have, so let's just start rolling, shall we?
Logan: What, are we chopped liver over here? Heh. Do we not get introduced?
Ariana: Everyone knows who you are dipshit, but nobody cares about you!
Willow: Hey! At least we were considered All Stars and not you!
Ariana: I was asked to come back you turdbomb! I declined!
Jordan: And yet here she is ...
Kim: Let's just bring in our first guest, shall we?—
*Ross runs over*
Ross: Hey, has anyone happened to see Marissa?
Kim: No? How rude of you to interrupt us.
Elise: As far as I'm concerned that hoe can stay missin'!
Willow: Such a caring person you are.
Ross: Ahh shit ... I'm just gonna keep looking. Go back to your thing, sorry for interrupting.
*Ross leaves*
Ariana: Ugh, finally, back to us. Our first guest happened to be the first victim of this season's big dramatic fiasco; the alliance debacle!
Kim: Unknowingly, although not doing much to help herself out, she also found herself in the middle of a relationship conundrum. In the end, she lost, so that's all that mattered.
Ariana: Welcome in ... Luna!
*Luna enters and sits*
Luna: I can tell this is going to be a fun time.
Kim: Luna, Luna, Luna ... Where do we start? How does it feel to be a pre-merge boot after a strong finale push?
Luna: You know the answer to that, why even bother asking. It sucks.
Ariana: That's it? No further analysis?
Luna: What do you want from me? An answer you're already aware of? Clearly there's some scheming going on, and I was on the wrong end of it. You watched, you know.
Kim: Okay, how about this. Do you feel like your cast was unprepared for the sheer intensity this season was going to bring?
Luna: I'm sorry, who are you again? What right do you have to be drilling me with these questions?
Kim: *le gasp* I am offended! You better know who I am!
Ariana: Don't disrespect my idol like that! Just answer the damn question!
Luna: Whatever. I feel like we had an advantage in the sense of being acclimated to the island's shit ... But maybe the island ended up distracting us and preventing us from forming any sound strategies? I don't know.
Logan: I would agree with you, heh. Too much going on.
Kim: But there are others, namely Jay and Marina, even Apollo last season, who were still able to deal with the island while using tactics to further their game. Thoughts on that?
Luna: I never said that was the reason, I was just hypothesizing, because you asked me. Still, some are just better than others at strategy. Besides, the other cast got like four seasons to build relationships and dynamics. We had one season. Our connections weren't as strong.
Jordan: I gotta admit, that is a valid argument. Having people who you know you could trust or work with, and knowing a majority of the cast ... Definitely helps.
Willow: Yeah, but we're also sitting here right now.
Jordan: ... Touché.
Ariana: Shut up you two! Luna, what is one thing you regret during your run this season?
Luna: I regret nothing you attention whore. I don't live like that.
Ariana: *le gasp* Okay I am over talking to this bitch!
Kim: Yeah for real! The disrespect is absurd!
Luna: Cry about it.
Kim: Let's just get the guest on to ask you a question ...
*Jenny, who's in a high school hallway, appears on the monitor*
Jenny: Omg, hey girl! Tough luck this time! So not fetch!
Luna: Why her? Why?
Jenny: Oh relax girl! I just want you to spill the tea! You were involved in the middle of a love triangle! Share the deets!
Luna: Um, huh? What love triangle?
Jenny: Ooo girl, you are so naive! Jay been falling for Chloe this entire time! They just got together girl, you seen it! Arya was trying to hit on you to get Chloe jealous, but she stopped. What are your thoughts?
Luna: Umm ... Well if that's true, then she's a fucking dimwit. I always thought Jay would end up with a nice spruce tree, but what do I know. Good for him I guess? If he's happy and it's helping his game then good on him.
Jenny: What, that's it? No tea!? Nothing bad to say?!
Luna: I mean I didn't really appreciate Chloe that much but it's probably just because I feel like we're similar in some ways, and there can only be one me.
Jenny: You're a hard nut to crack, mm mm mm! Whatevs girl! Toodles!
*Monitor turns off*
Ariana: Thank you for that boring interview. Now move along to the other side so we can get to our first new segment!
Luna: Gladly.
*Luna goes over to the peanut gallery*
