Ayomide knew herself as someone who had various crushes on her mates. She had had fantasies on how they-her crushes- and she would act as married couples with children.
The thing was that, as she stared at her naked body through the mirror, she frowned. She had big and saggy breasts, huge thighs with back spots at the side of each one, a big stomach that she always tried to push in, hip dips which didn't give her any figure, making her feel square.
Witness in the other hand was light, almost giving the look of an Igbo girl, very curvy hips that never failed her even in the shitty school skirt, she had no spots on her body to tarnish her good looks and flawless skin. All in was that she was sexy and beautiful, boys swooned over her.
To hear people still describe her as an extraordinary beauty turned Ayomide off in so many ways, especially when she was spreading positivity to herself and there was no denial in the girls beauty, which was pride hurting as she looked into the mirror telling herself she was beautiful.
Ayo knew that she was to focus on other things other than the beauty of a colleague and being jealous. But it was driving her mad! She prefers her body anyday over witnesses own, but no one said anything to make her feel beautiful, she had no one to boost her self-esteem. She even stooped low and asked a friend to remind her everyday of how beautiful she was.
It was almost like Witness was a goddess. But it wasn't only witness that made her insecure about her looks. It seemed to her that she was the ugly one in her friend groups, her friends, were all slim, cute and more than fairly popular they had a cool relationship with everyone in class. Ayomide was always the of one out.
Whereas, Ayo was the weird girl. Her relationship with her other classmates were on and off, one day she'd be having a chill and amazing conversation with one of them and the next they act like strangers to each other. Some times she'd purposely sing songs when few people were in class hoping that someone complements her amazing singing voice but of course that never happened.
I guess that this is about the time that she felt like the problem was with her body, the amount of fitness apps she download on her phone where uncountable, the amounts of dieting she practice, the amount of overthinking that she would forever be fat and grow up to be fatter hit her hard. She got tired of not being noticed and playing with the guys in her class, she craved the attention and all she did to get it did not workout. She failed exercising along with her dieting plan, she later remained the same fat girl. Maybe she'd slim down as the years go by as she grows up but she doubted it.
Sometimes she'll sit and think about how differently placed she was, she'd be sad because boys didn't give her the attention they gave the other girls, they didn't talk to her the way they talked to the other girls. Voicing out her thoughts to her adult might get her killed, why was she thinking of such at her young age? The wouldn't understand she needs the......the.......feel of having someone there for her, no she didn't want a boyfriend, damn even she thinks she's not making any sense.
Her fat thighs made her compare herself to a hippo or turkey. She'd always had some sort of resentment towards the other girls, she took every opportunity to make them feel bad about themselves, lame tactic right? but to her she was tired of seeing them attracting attention all the time,
look at me for once!
At a point she'd started starving herself and excersing to lose weight and the nasty hip dip, that made her form a stick. But good food was so nice she couldn't do without it, her weight would normally flunctrate from a hundred back to ninety, and she didn't see that as a motivative or positive sign, making her give up on her weight loss.
Thinking of it now, there's the option of Liposuction (a surgical fat removal procedure) but she wouldn't dream of it, she hated the idea of being put to sleep with anesthetic. It was basically like dying and only God knows if she'd wake up, it was all too scary for her, not being to be able to do anything for hours while people operate on your body. Her brother had had surgery before and she just cringed by just remembering, she'll mostlikely cry and struggle before she went through the procedure.
"Guy it's time to eat" Gunni her friend tapped her gently as an attempt to wake her up from her sleep
Ayo raised up her head and looking at Gunni just made her head ache with all the heavy thinking she had been doing, she shook her head and told her that she'll skip lunch. and with that she ended up spending lunch sitting down on the restroom floor overthinking.
