Not sure what to call this

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Mental stability is crucial to me.  It has to be.  Am I stable mentally? No... I'm going crazy daily,  I've been soo paranoid lately.
Nothings right.  My days are always dull and never bright.  It's all grey skies, dark clouds, and lonely nights.  It's odd so uncomforting.
From hurting I'm almost numb.  Can't feel it.  That pain in my chest? I can't feel it! Somethings not right.  I feel it.  But what? Please reveal it.  It's driving me crazy trying heal something when I don't know what's broken.
I'm mentally unstable have you noticed? If you have why haven't you shown it? I knew I was alone but this is bogus.
I need help. I show it.

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