I Know The End- 1996

Heaven

December 25th, 2000

The cold air whipping past your skin raises bumps, blowing Shinichiro's scarf back into your face as the two of you ride through the dark Tokyo streets. Your arms are held firmly around his waist, leaning onto his back and attempting to steal any body heat coming through the thick winter coat. The tires slide over the icy puddles, wobbling for a moment before Shinichiro steadies it again, laughing to himself after the near accident. Lifting your head, you shout forward over the engine, "huh, was that funny?! Do you need me to drive?!"

"I only laughed because," Shinichiro shouts back, smiling ahead as the lights stream past his field of vision, "I knew you were about to say something like that!"

Weaving through the heavy traffic, Shinichiro pulls the bike up near a fence and cuts the engine, chuckling lightly when he feels your grip remain firm, "We're here."

"It's cold, Shin," you mumble into his coat, holding tighter as he tries to stand from the bike.

"Come on, angel. We don't have to stay long." Shinichiro reassures you, stepping off the bike after you and kicking the stand down. Reaching up to his neck and removing the dark red scarf, he smiles gently as he wraps it around your hood, the skin of your cheeks feeling soft against his fingers. Pulling the strings on your hoodie, Shinichiro laughs when the fabric comes tight around your face before loosening it a bit, "ah, so cute."

"Thank you, Shin," you smile as you bury your fingers in the fabric hanging from the scarf.

"Gimme one," Shinichiro holds out his hand, smiling when you interlock your fingers with his. He waits as you fiddle with the fabric, managing to pull your sleeve down over your hands, Shinichiro giggles when you declare you're ready. The two of you walk with the flow of foot traffic, holding tight to each other as you approach the shine. After paying your respects, you walk back along the path, watching the flurries of white dancing in the air with each step.

The last two months since the dream ended have been heaven for you. With things back to normal, you made sure to be more than open with your boyfriend, working diligently to convey your love to him. Your mind had shown you a reality without him in your life— a future in which Shinichiro wasn't at your side anymore— and that was hell. There was no time wasted, no words left unsaid on your end, but spending every day possible with him didn't feel like enough.

As good as things seemed, the confusion and fear from that day never faded. It felt as if there was never a moment of clarity— an end or a start— all of it blended more as the time passed. The dream itself became harder to remember, losing the days slowly with each passing one in the real world, you began to doubt yourself again. While you truly wanted to believe that it was nothing more than that— a dream— there was no doubt that the gruesome attack on Haruchiyo was an event you had lived through twice.

While the three years of false memories plagued your waking thoughts, your mind seemed to be blank each night, not having dreamt once since coming to— almost three months and nothing...

"Did you hear me, babe?" Shinichiro asks, looking down at the pavement as he waits for the sound of your voice.

"Oh— no, I'm sorry." You look up to him, apologizing repeatedly, "sorry, sorry, I was thinking about something."

"You've been in your head a lot lately," He sighs before laughing slightly and looking at you, "I was just saying— it's a lot for you to pay for that mortgage. It's too expensive."