Two Weeks to Fall in Love

35. Two Weeks to End the Relationship

The sun had set and I was still curled up in bed. My mom came in several times. The last time, she stayed, laying on my bed with me in silence. I knew the silence was bothering her. 

Considering my over active mind was inherited, I couldn't even imagine what was going through hers. Eventually, I let out a deep sigh and turned to face her.

"There you are, sweetheart," Mom said, and brushed my hair behind my ear. "What's wrong? Did you have a fight with Melissa?"

I shook my head. What was I supposed to say? She didn't even know how the whole dating Noah thing came to be. There was no point in trying to explain to her how badly I had screwed up.

"Am I a bad person?" I whispered after some time.

"Of course not, honey, why would you even say that?" Mom said, so sure in her words I almost believed her. Almost.

"What if I did something really horrible?"

Mom was quiet for a moment, and then she sighed. "Good people can do bad things sometimes. Nothing is ever that bad that it's unfixable."

Lies. Things people told others when they didn't want them to feel worse. People who did bad things were usually bad people. If they were good people, they wouldn't have done bad things. At least that's what I'd always believed until now...

 And besides, just because you can fix something, doesn't unbreak it. It doesn't change that you broke it in the first place. It doesn't remove the cracks that you leave behind. 

I turned again, facing my window, and my mom rubbed her hand up and down my back.

"I don't know what happened with you and Melissa, but you'll fix it. You guys always do."

"Not Melissa," I mumbled.

"Lily?" she asked and then paused for a few seconds as I shook my head. "Noah?"

I froze. That was answer enough for her.

"Ah. Boy troubles. Well, that's definitely something you can fix, my darling. I've had so many fights with your dad when we were younger, and all it taught us was how to talk to each other." Mom seemed to relax when she realized I was talking about who she considered my boyfriend. But she didn't know. This wasn't something communication could fix.

When I didn't reply, she let out a sigh and got off the bed.

"I'll leave you alone, sweetie. But you need to come eat dinner," she said and stopped me before I could speak. "Even if you're not hungry."

Then she left and I was alone again. Alone with my thoughts.

Tomorrow I would go to school and I would see him again. And then on Tuesday, it would be our last day, and we would break up.

Only I didn't think I could wait until then. I didn't think I could look him in the eyes, and hold his hand, and smile with this guilt pressing down on my heart. I couldn't do it. I couldn't pretend.

Tomorrow I would tell him the truth. I would tell him the truth and I would break up with him and it would be over. Tomorrow.