The name is Sarah, and I have been self prescribing since I was in 7th grade. My first prescription; a razor blade. You see a razor blade is usually the first prescription for a lot of people. It starts off with needing a release. Then escalates to an addiction, and its not a pretty one. The scars are not beautiful. They do not build you up and make you a warrior, a soldier of knowing what pain is. No. its not what its all pumped up to be. Its an ugly force, that kills, and takes life's when its not to meant to.
From the razor blade I went up a level to booze and cigarettes. That instead of a cut to the skin I drank and smoked my way into illusions that I would be okay. Just as long as I did not stay sober. Drink up. Let it absorb into your liver and lungs to kill you a different way Sarah. Though there were moments when I paired vodka and a razor blade with such a delicate balance that my life almost ended. So, there goes the beauty of booze.
Next I found beauty in weed. I smoked so much of it that some days, even when I was sober, I did not know if anythings was real. What I found beautiful in being high was that I found a sort of substitutional happiness in it. I who used razor blades, booze, and cigarettes to numb the pain found something that when paired with all three seemed to be a nirvana. Just like with all my self prescribed prescriptions I learned that this beautiful thing was just like all the others, a petty dreams that dragged me down the rabbit hole.
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Prescribe Me
Non-FictionWe all struggle with things inside that at some points in our life's control us. What you are about to read are the points in my life where I was controlled by my demons. These are all real experiences and the point of me writing my story is to show...