Prescribe Me

Who I Am

Now that I have caught your attention I would like to properly introduce myself.

My name Is Sarah Schechter. I am 16 years old. I am going to be a Junior next school year.

Some stuff I should probably tell you about myself is that I have Bipolar Type 2. I have gone through many struggles to get to where I am now and I am very nervous to share with you my story in fear that I will get rejected. Sadly that fear stems from past experiences, though I am crossing my fingers that you people will see the importance of my story, if not as something interesting to read but, as a story that captures your attention and stays in your heart forever.

I write not only for myself but, for those of you who have struggled with drugs and cutting and other sad things. I hope I can lend you strength while you read my words and give you hope when its hard to find some.

Enough of my prattling. Its time my story is read.

I lay in bed seeing circles in the darkness as I lost myself in the high. Everything was at harmony, there was no anxiety, no thoughts of tomorrow, just the gentle music of my favorite song to get high to, Space Oddity by David Bowie the remake from The Secret Life of Walter Mitty sound track.

I felt at peace, which was hard to find these days for. So much of my life seemed to be centered on drama and worry of money. Getting high was my new coping skill, one introduced to by my ex friend Ruby almost a year ago. I can still remember the moment clearly when I first inhaled the smoke.

The night air was cool but not too cool, just cool enough to warrant sweaters and jackets. Ruby and I were at the small ice skating rink in Longmont when an old "friend" of her's showed up asking if we wanted to smoke.

Now Ruby being the girl she was said yes instantly and of course dragged me with her saying it was about time I got high.

Being the follower that I am I followed them nervously behind a bush pretty much in plain sight of the entire park which was just stupid of us to began with. I remember that I was breathing hard as the red headed " friend" took out a pipe and a medicine bottle full of weed. Ruby was smiling and whispering with the girl about how excited she was about smoking, the rest of their whispers faded away as my heart beat inside my head just waiting and watching to get caught the first time I smoked.

My eyes grew wide as I watched them pack up the bowl and light it up. When it was my turn to smoke Ruby had to light the bowl for me because I was shaking so badly. That first puff drowned me and sunk me down to the bottom of the ocean because that was the beginning of my newest prescription.

I'm not sure if it was minutes or hours when I heard my door open, the only thing I could think to do was freeze and pretend I was sleeping.

"Whats that smell?" I heard my dad ask as they came into my room looming like giants in the darkness shadows of what I could barely comprehend to be my parents.

"Is that sage or weed?" he asked confused reaching out in the darkness to find the light switch.

Still frozen I watched horrified not knowing what to do as they sniffed the air. They came and sat on my bed, angry, realizing what the smell was. all I could do was remain paralyzed.

"Tell us the truth." My dad said looking me in the eyes, watching my eyes twitch crazily back and forth as I was shocked back into reality enough to respond.

"I'm high." I whispered.

Anger was their first reaction as my words hit them. I tried to say more but, my words came out as gibberish I was still too high to say more then a few words that made sense.