The day I decided to act on my feelings.
Was I aware of my mental state? Yes.
Did I intend to get hurt? Yes.
Did I do it anyway?
Why do you even ask.
It all started with a look. A look that could bring a girl out of a four month depression and into a new form of suffering,
obsession.
I still remember how it happened to this day. His blue eyes investigated my mind for an answer to why I had caught his attention. He sat with his head resting on his arm. I still remember that ridiculous jacket he was wearing, it was probably his mums idea.
Why did he chose me?
I sat there, muttering under my breath. I often talk to myself a lot, especially when waiting for my friends. I arrived quite early as I loved watching people walk in, and seeing how they slowly developed throughout the mornings before splitting off to class. I like to compare it to playing sims.
It just had to be that morning, didn't it?
When our eyes met, I couldn't handle myself. My heart took control of my body, as I suddenly felt flushed and light headed. He was looking me.
"Oh my god oh my god he was looking at ME GUYS LITERALLY he was he so was. Oh my god oh my god okay okay just turn around just turn and look away like oh hmm he looked at me? Hmm okay. Yeah yeah that's good that's good just look away."
I was malfunctioning. I would look back every now and then just to see those eyes creeping up on me again, closer and closer. The tide was closing in. I needed an escape. I knew that I didn't want my heart to suffer once more, yet it skipped a beat at any male attention. It yearned for a replacement. Someone to worship. To care for. To control.
And just as quickly as he came, he left. It was time to go. I thought that this wouldn't be a reoccurring occurrence, that I could go on with my somber attitude. But this was the act that began :
100 Days of Obsession
