Manuel

Cigarettes out the window

The next morning i did the same as Hailee and vomited all over the toilet. Every. Piece. Of. Squished. Liquid. It was all over the seat and even reached through the floor. It was absolutely disgusting but thankfully was the reason i stopped drinking. Couldn't be on that same spot again. Hailee heard me and immediately told me if i was alright. I told her that i was fine and it was just all the drinking and partying that caused all this mess. She felt relieved and asked me what i wanted for Dinner. I immediately looked at her-bewildered by the fact that i just woke up and expected her to tell me what i wanted for breakfast. Looked at the clock and it was 5:35PM. "You were asleep all day, thought i would work at the Bar for a bit" Hailee said. "What hour did you get out?" I said while shaking my head that felt like it was about to explode. "I got out at 2:15. Decided to sleep aside you for a while until you woke up." "You should've waken me up by then, now the whole day passed by and i missed work." It's fine. Besides, you couldn't work at your state." "I mean you worked at your state and you were drunker than me. "Touché." She chuckles and jumps to the bed waiting for me to get close to her. I studied her gorgeous-skinny brown face. Her Forever 21 shirt that barely fitted her and you could see her belly button. Straight hair and small ears. I ran and jumped to her. We start kissing and have passionate sex all over the bed that was ready to be cleaned. Christ it smell bad.

I looked at her and she fell asleep. Decided to make some cereal. Fruit loops? Shit, i needed to do my groceries. I went and got my jacket and got out to do some shopping. Could've waited tomorrow to go with Hailee but to be honest i sometimes I thought i was a huge bother. Which i know is not the case but I didn't know at that time, only thing i knew were my insecurities bothering me throughout the whole process of me dating her. Whether it was me being a lil bit chunky or having bad scent. And trust me, i wore a lot of deodorant. Especially when i hang out with her. But i needed to understand that she did like me no matter my weight and scent. I was just clueless back then.

I got on the car and I remember seeing this deer. It was like something you would see in a movie because it looked hideous with its shinny black eyes. Kinda like a Skin Walker of some sort. Creeped me the fuck out but i went to the store either way.

I land there and got my stuff, even helped a old granny getting some toilet paper that was pretty tall to reach. Some reason i liked helping people. I may look like a total douchebag or even talk like one but I'm a very sensible man. I think the reason people didn't see that side of me was because i didn't let it out all the time. Which I should've honestly when i had the chance to do so.

I travel my way back home when all of a sudden

BANG

I hit the deer! The same fucking creature!

I hit it and got fearful. Fearful by the fact that i might've lose a part of my body and had to return to my room looking disabled. My heart just started raising and beating faster and I couldn't even stop staring at the poor dead thing. Still had its eyes and terrifying form. I checked the thing and yeah, it was pretty dead. So i got out and returned home, told the story to Hailee and she got hugged me to check if i was at one piece. Nearly shredded a tear because she thought she would lose me way too early.

Next morning me and Hailee woke up a little bit anxious, this was because i had this huge test today. I was at a film school and it was a challenging place to be in. Mostly because we had exams and tasks to do every single day. Whether it was to study a classic french film from the 60's or to learn how to properly use a camera. Didn't hate it, hell i loved it. To just watch a film for homework was a dream. At that time i wanted to be a great director so i really took this seriously. Can't honestly say the same for Hailee though. She could barely study or even pay attention in class because of her one flaw. That one flaw was her nicotine addiction. She sure loved to smoke. At first it didn't really bothered me but as the doctors came with her analysis I went more desperate into finding her help. Whether it was checking her in on a rehab place or just me helping her verbally. I tried everything but she didnt really cared to hear me out on that aspect. She would either just get mad at me or tell me to go "Mind my own bussiness." The exam on the other hand she didnt make it. I believe she either fell asleep or went to work to get the full hours.

As for me i passed the test, we needed to make like a quick essay on the final shot of "The 400 Blows" which now that i think about it as kinda easy considering the ending just screamed "Freedom." So I babbled about freedom and the connection behind it and A+.

                           7 months later...

Me and Hailee had our finals and we both passed College. We were still happily together but we had our rocky roads. Like for example we had the stupidest discussions about what we wanted to eat.

"So what do you want to get?" I said

"I don't know man, why do you always have to ask me?" *coughs*

"Babe we've been over this already, every time i decide something you either don't eat it or just don't want to go to that place. That's why i want you to pick.

"Well pick something, i promise I won't reject it"

I sighed and gave her options which she would say:

"No." "Don't want to eat there." "Eh."

I would get frustrated mostly and blame it on the things that she had that would distract her.

"Well maybe if you put that fucking cigarette away maybe we could have a clearer conversation."

"Here we go with the same shit, why do you always have to blame the cigarette??!!"

"Because it completely distracts you from what I'm saying."

"No it doesn't, i can hear you perfectly well" She coughs.

"Yes it does, that shit completely blurs your brain."

"Why can't you stop smoking for once?"

"Why can't you stop being such a bitch for once?"

"Shut the fuck up"

She looked at me with a face of shock before quickly slapping me.

A cold silence goes through the atmosphere and i tell her while laughing.

"Don't you ever fucking hit me."

"I can hit you all i want, you're my bitch."

"I am not your bitch, I am your FUCKING BOYFRIEND."

"WELL MAYBE I DON'T WANT A FUCKING BOYFRIEND JUST TO TRY AND BOSS ME AROUND EVERY TIME."

"Please stop acting like this, i beg you."

"Oh now you're gonna cry you big baby. Thats what you are. You're a big fucking lose-"

                              ENOUGH

She stared silently and quickly looked away through the side of the parking lot that was next to the dirty window.

"Hailee, i don't want to argue and i sure as hell don't want to hit you either. I hate seeing you like this. You've become something i can barely put into words. Even the word monster can't describe you."

I start the car and tell her that she was going to rehabilitation whether she liked it or not. She tried to fight it out but she couldn't.

She stayed there for 7 days.