Battle Cries and Ballads

Pleasure and Pain

Pleasure and Pain by Bullet For My Valentine

((Parts of the italics below are thoughts and a mix of the lyrics from the song. Some of the words are spoken are also parts of the song. Be aware. Enjoy!))

BUCKY'S POINT OF VIEW

"Your work is a sacrifice, a gift, for mankind," a voice said.

No. Liar. This isn't right. This wasn't who I was meant to be.

"'Don't walk away from this. You can't. We aren't done with you. HYDRA can't give the world the freedom it deserves without you.' A old voice echoed in my head. A flash of memory appeared in my head. I know him too... Zeno? No... Zola. Zola! That was it. Him and the man from the bridge were connected. Man from bridge... S-Steve...? Steve... R-Rogers? Steve Rogers? That sounded right.

Steve... I'm so sorry... Steve? Steve! Are you there? It's me again. Will you die for me? because I died for you...

Pierce was talking. I was trying to listen but glimpses of Steve and connected memories broke the flood gate. Relapse after relapse came. There was an ache in my chest.

I'm not insane. They've cut my heart out with razor blades. I feed on the suffering. I can't feed any longer. Please take my sacrifice. Take my sacrifice! Please take me...

Brock was standing back watching Pierce speak to me. "But I knew him..." I had slipped out quietly. Pierce was staring at me, his handprint was burning my cheek still from earlier.

You don't bring me pleasure. You just bring me pain, over and over again. You just bring me pain and nothing in between.

I must have blanked out because I wasn't paying attention to Pierce and the other scientists until I heard Pierce. "Then wipe him and start over." I looked alarmed to them as the scientists nodded and went to obey his command. They shoved me back in the seat. I reluctantly took the bite block offered.

Steve... there's no escape. I can't run from this. I can't run from you. Bow down because they are a god, the new rule. Will you pray for me? Because I'd pray for you...

I felt the bindings lock around me. No escape. No escape. Steve! please save me one last time! Please put me out of my misery. I can't do this anymore...

Push my sins aside. No one cares, my head's fucked inside. Embrace your apathy, Rogers. I don't care for you, and you don't care for me. You let me down, after all I've done for you.

That's when it started. I was reminded of my new self. James Barnes of the 107th was gone once again. It was only the Winter Soldier. Hydras weapon.

You don't bring me me pleasure! You just bring me pain! Over and over again! You don't bring me pleasure. You just bring me pain, and nothing in between.