the story of us

Chapter 2

TW: SA, underage sexual content, mental health

Him: This is over isn't it? You don't really like me anymore do you?

Fuck.

Yeah i'm not going to lie, this was bound to happen sooner or later.

I had been ignoring Nelson lately, not connecting as much as we used to, I was feeling guilty, lost.

You see i'd just come back from a trip in Cambodia. My family and I had gone on an amazing river boat trip up the Mekong river. It was truly beautiful and such a good trip. We got to see parts of the world I'd never seen before, and will never forget.

Too bad one of the reasons I will never forget it will stay with me until I die.

I am sixteen, just turned sixteen in December. And as you heard in my last chapter, i'm not the most popular, not the most 'beautiful', no the most sought after girl. So when men give me attention, when they say they want me, and they like me, I would do anything to make them happy, to get to say that I have hooked up.

To this day I'm not even sure who's fault all these things are. It seems that bad decisions and pain just follow me around so maybe it really is me, but I know that's not true. It's not my fault, and it wasn't my decision, not fully.

Here is when Soren comes into the conversation. To this day even the thought of him makes me feel sick inside. So sorry if I don't go fully into detail, you'll be glad about that though.

Soren, well Soren was one of the staff members on the river cruise. He was 28. He was kind, and funny, moderately attractive.

And well I recon you can guess what happened.

It was the end of the cruise the last night and everyone was up on the top deck, a cocktail or two, my mum let me have some because we were on holiday. Yum. It was getting late and people were starting to leave but him and I started up a conversation. And went around somewhere private so no one would see us chatting. I guess we both thought we didn't want anyone knowing. We walked into the little storage room so no one would see. He asked if he could kiss me, I thought, well I do want to kiss him, and he's nice and attractive, I'm leaving tomorrow, why not.

So I did, we kissed. He told me he had never been kissed before. he wanted me to teach him, me? I guess things work a little differently in Cambodia because that seemed crazy.

We kissed, and kissed again. But I wanted that to be it.

He had different ideas.

He started to put his hand up my shirt, cupped his hands over my breast. I tried pulling away.

"Hey stop, lets not, please can we jsut kiss" "seriously"

I said, as he kept touching me, he stopped for a second and kept kissing me, but then his hand was somewhere else.

He ran it up my leg and past my jean shorts, and he slipped it under my undies. His hand that is. And started touching me. I didn't move, I couldn't.

"Does that feel good?" he asked.

Of course it fucking didn't.

I went to remove his hand, pulling it out. He stopped luckily, he could've kept going, he could've done anything, I realise that now.

We walked out of the storage room, because I couldn't breathe in there.

He was getting frustrated, angry even. He had a hard on, asked me to touch it, I felt him through his pants, It make me want to puke. The idea that I had made that, it was disgusting to me. I didn't want to jack him off, I didn't jack him off.