BTS - One-Shots

(Yellow) Roses - Yoongi-centric

Trigger warnings:

Eating disorders, bullying, homophobia, internalized homophobia, abuse, use of the f slur

Yoongi had never been good at making friends. In fact, he was rather bad at it. It wasn't that he didn't like people or didn't want friends to talk to. He wanted friends. Maybe just a couple. He'd be fine with just one. But it was a misconception that he didn't want any. The problem was that he didn't know how to make them. Talking to people scared him. He didn't know how so many people had so much ease doing it.

When he entered kindergarten, no one else seemed to have that problem. Everyone else made friends easily. Every time he tried talking to people, he froze up, stuttered and it came out awkwardly. All he got were weird stares and judgemental gazes. So eventually he stopped trying to make friends.

And of course, that was something he was made fun of for. Sometimes he wondered if he would have been made fun of at all if he had friends. Would friends change anything? Perhaps it would give him the support system he needed. Maybe he would have still been bullied, but he himself wouldn't be the same person he is today. He didn't know, but he loved thinking about it. It allowed him to dwell on his misfortunes.

First they teased him for being alone. For not having friends. Then they found other things to make fun of. His height. His face. His weight. Anything they could possibly think of was a reason to bully him every day. By fifth grade, he wasn't eating breakfast. It didn't do much, no one really noticed and it didn't help him at all. So by ninth grade, he started taking it more seriously. He wanted to change and he put in the effort to do so.

His mom barely recognized him by the time he entered highschool. He didn't want to be hurt anymore so he came up with ways to protect himself. He shielded himself. He put up a barrier. And maybe it was wrong to start acting like the very things he was protecting himself from. Maybe it was wrong to even go as far as to treat people like an ass before they had done anything. But it helped him.

It kept him safe from being hurt. By hurting them before they hurt him. Maybe he wouldn't ever make friends this way, but it's not like he ever made friends before that.

"Mr. Min!" Mrs. Kang said suddenly. Yoongi's head snapped up and he looked up at his teacher blankly. "Pay attention, please!"

Yoongi rolled his eyes. "Whatever, Mrs. Kang."

Mrs. Kang scrutinized him. "Are you doing this again? Please, for the love of god, can you for once just listen to me instead of giving me attitude? Is it so hard to listen for one day?"

Yoongi shrugged. "I suppose I wouldn't know," He told her.

She inhaled deeply. Yoongi's bored expression and attitude was something she hated dealing with each day, but he was paid to do so each day. The paycheck definitely wasn't enough, but there was nothing she could do about that anymore. She'd been teaching for years. She couldn't go and get a new degree. That was counterproductive.

"Why don't you give me an answer tomorrow?" She tried optimistically. Optimism wasn't something that a lot of teachers were able to have in the context of Min Yoongi, but Mrs. Kang had always been a patient woman.

Yoongi scrunched his nose. "I'd rather not."

She sighed. "Whatever, let's just get on with the lesson."

Yoongi sighed in relief. "Perfect. Since you just wasted a few minutes of class on something that wasn't disrupting your perfect lesson, you really should try to push through the rest of the lesson. At this rate, I see a bunch of failing students in this class specifically."