School mum 💝💕

Pain

Time flew by for the next couple of months and my relationship with Miss Green had gotten so much stronger. I told her almost everything, to the point that she knew me better than my own friends and family. My friends never understood how I felt about Miss Green, saying it was strange and weird to tell a teacher all of your problems. It did hurt me when they made those comments but I tried not to overthink it. I knew that Miss Green would tell me not to stress about it if she knew. My real mum had no idea about Miss Green helping me and I also had no intention of telling her. Unless I wanted to be subjected to emotional and verbal abuse, it was best not to tell my mum. For most things that happened in my life, It was best not to tell my mum. I couldn't even tell her if I dropped a glass or a plate or made any kind of mess because even that was enough to push her over the edge.

Sometimes, in the evening, when I was at home, I felt empty. I felt nothing without Miss Green by my side. She was my rock, my everything. I not only needed her for support at school but for everything. I was only happy when I was with her and I mostly felt numb when she wasnt around. I felt like I was drowning in the abyss of emptiness, that was my heart. Occasionally, at night, tears would run, like rivers, streaming down my face due to how much I missed Miss Green. Whenever I wasn't at school, I really missed her. School holidays were the worst! Two whole weeks without her at Christmas was hell and I normally love Christmas. I can't say I hated all of the holiday because nothing could ruin Christmas day, Christmas films and Christmas food. I just wished I could see her. We emailed a couple times throughout the holiday but I always felt guilty, as if I was annoying her. Going back to school after the holiday was causing me lots of anxiety but I knew seeing Miss Green would make me feel so much better.

The comments from my friends never stopped and, if anything, the more attached to Miss Green I got, the more their words hurt. "It's like you've got a crush on her or something" and "Are you obsessed with her?" were definitely the most painful things that they said to me. I just wanted them to understand but how could they? They got on with their parents much better than I did and they were probably more mentally stable. I always wished that I was more like them and not attached to Miss Green. I loved the way that Miss Green made me feel safe and wanted but I hated how I felt when she wasn't around. For some reason, I always looked for Miss Green when I was out in public because she was always on my mind and seeing her would be amazing.