When My World Stops

My world stopped the moment the line went flat. A pain no 16 year old should have to feel filled by body. A breath-stopping heart-shattering feeling. I knew there was nothing the doctors could do; I don't blame them. We knew this would happen soon. I just did not realize it would be the very next day. I still remember black screen, red numbers, and 11:24. It had taken a whole minute before realization had sunk in. My dad was gone. The family in the room kept talking to me. I know they were only trying to make me feel better by saying "it will be ok." "We are here for you." but in that moment, with all the chatter and chaos in the room and people touching me and hugging me, I had never felt so alone. I realize now they were only trying to help, but at that time all I needed was to be alone, and I have been for the last two weeks.

"Ashley, come here," a gruff male voice calls from down stairs, interrupting my thoughts.

I place my feet onto the cold wood floor shivers up my spine. I walk out of my room and down the dark stairs carved out of oak by my father and into the living room. Beer cans and food wrappers are scattered around the room I cleaned only yesterday. I stop in front of my stepfather. An old man with a large beer belly, piercing black eyes, an extremely short neck; he reminds me of Vernon Dursley in both appearance and personality.

"Yes?" I snap, standing there annoyed, waiting for him to reply.

"Ashley, sit down, we need to talk" he says calmly. I can already tell this won't end well. "You have been spending far too much time in that room of yours with your music blasting in your ears so loud you can't hear when your mother calls."

I hear the door close, signaling my mother has left for work. Shoot, this really is going to get bad. He knows now that if she isn't in the house he can say anything and get away with it. I won't tell her; she deserves to be happy even if I hate him. She loves him. As if a light switch had flipped, his personality changes suddenly from a man who seems like he cares, to the person who wishes I was never born.

"You need to get over this. It's not like he was a real father to you. I've been more of a father than he was."

At that remark I snap, "Don't you dare! Don't you dare say he was not a real father to me! How dare you compare yourself to him! You are nothing like him! He was a better father than you will ever be, he did his best with what you and Mother would allow. He was better then you will ever be, at least he actually cared about me, not just pretended so he could keep his wife. It's like you wish I was never born." I know I shouldn't have said it, but it's true. I see his eyes get darker than the already dark irises, filling with hatred and malice.

"You are right. I wish you had never been born," he says, glaring. "I wish you were with your father in that accident." I freeze, completely shocked. He had never admitted it before today. He had never said those words. They hurt more than I thought they would.

"I wish it was you instead of him! I wish you and my mom had never met. Then he would still be with her."

"You ungrateful child!!!" he said, his hand flying towards me, stinging my cheek. I rise my hand to my face. Feeling a warm and sticky substance, I pulled my hand away, glancing down to see my fingers stained crimson.

"What did you just do" I hear a soft voice whisper from the door heart broken.

"I'm sorry mommy, I didn't mean to make him mad." I say, Tears fill my eyes and I run up the stairs

"Ashley wait" she calls after me, I don't stop until I reach the bathroom I slam the door behind me and slide down the hard wood door sobbing, pulling my knees to my chest.

I close my eyes and a pair of familiar green eyes, dark hair and a nose crinkling with that smile I miss so much. "I miss you daddy" I whisper hearing his soothing sound of his deep light hearted voice saying I love you, my breathing finally slows.

A small knock sounds from the other side of the door, "Ashley, sweetie let me in." I hear my mother say. I slowly move away from the door.

"It's open" I reply, she slowly opens the door. I hide my face in my knees. "I'm sorry mommy please don't be mad I didn't mean to make him upset" I whimper, like a dog who had been kicked now cowering in a corner, tears forming in my eyes. I hear footsteps cross the tile floor and feel a pair of comforting arms wrap around me.

"I am not angry with you" she says kissing the top of my head "but that man will never step into this house again I can promise you that"