Cupid // DreamNotFound

Chapter 1; the only chapter

We're best friends, but not the way me and  Sapnap are best friends. This is different, everything about George is  different. In a good way. A very good way.

The way he can't stop touching his hair when it's longer than he's used to.

The way he laughs to avoid awkward comments me or one of our friends made.

The way that "pretty privilege" isn't even enough to describe his beauty.

The way he smiles... oh, his smile. I could go on and on about his smile  for hours if you wanted me to. It's the most beautiful smile in the  world, usually complied with the most endearing and contagious laugh  you'll ever hear. And if his eyes lit up when he smiles, you can just  feel his happiness throughout your whole body.

And those are only a few of the things, there is so much more about him.  I'm still waiting, still waiting for the day I can finally hold him in  my arms, feel the electric sparks between us and feel even more happy  every time I get to see a glimpse of him.

I'll hold him in my arms when we watch a movie. Even though I won't even  see any second of the movie, it'll be worth it to just have him in my  arms for two hours. Two hours of silence between us, just us. Me and  him. That'll give me time to look at him even more, admire him even.  Just admire him while my heart is on fire and the butterflies in my  stomach are going wild.

I would literally give up everything for that man.

Just to wake up next to him, maybe even with me holding him in my arms.  Oh, that would be just perfect. I bet the morning light would make him  look even more amazing than he already does - if that's even possible.  He usually sleeps longer than me, so that would give me even more time  to admire him. And when he does wake up - and says good morning  with his addicting sleepy voice - I would make him the best breakfast  he'd ever had in his entire life, his face would light up when he sees  it and he would thank me over and over again. I would just keep  responding with it wasn't that hard, really George, no need to thank me even though we both know damn well that I love getting complimented. Especially by him.

And if we'd go together on a walk later that day, we would hold each  other's hand. George would just be George the entire time, laughing,  making jokes about everything. But I would feel different, I would feel  as if my ADHD had left my body for a few minutes, because the only thing  I could focus on was his hand. Not just his hand, but also the way it  laid perfectly into mine, how they fit together like it was meant to be.

And maybe, just maybe, if I was lucky enough, he would take me under one  of the street lights late in the night. Not right under one, but just a  bit to the side, so that we could see each other, but that others  couldn't obviously see us. He would put his arms around my neck and  chuckle a bit. I would also chuckle and wrap my arms around his waist,  pulling our bodies a bit closer to each other. My eyes would flicker  between his eyes and his lips - which he would obviously notice. He  would give me a soft smile before leaning in and closing his eyes, and  I'd just copy those actions. His soft lips would touch mine and-

No. No Dream, you can't think about your best friend like that. Especially not George. Remember?

He's not even able to love you. You know that.

Not because he's in  a relation with someone else and also not because I'm just not his  type. It's because of something different. Something neither of us can  control. Nobody can actually, it's just the way he's born.

He's aromantic. Unable to have romantic feelings for anyone.

Some aromantic people still have the desire to be in a relationship, just a platonic one, but George doesn't. There's no point in calling someone my partner if I don't have feelings for them, he'd told me and Sapnap after he explained what aromantic meant, it's not that I don't think others can't do it, I myself just don't see the point in that.

So  there was no way that me and George could ever get into a relationship.  He wasn't even able to love me back the way I loved him. Yeah of  course, he loves me, but that was just platonic love. The way I loved  him was different, I loved him in a romantic way. But he didn't, because  he was aromantic. There was nothing in the entire world that I could do  to make him love me the same way I loved him.

Love is a strange feeling to be honest, people have all different sorts of experiences with it. I've heard Sapnap say once I love them so much it hurts.  But I've never agreed with that statement. Yes, I love George a lot,  but not in a way it hurts. He makes me happier by just being there.  Whenever I'm sad I just can call him and it'll instantly brighten my  mood.

I honestly never want to get rid of this feeling.

But  still, George will never be able to feel the same way about me. That  should be a bad thing right? That he can't get butterflies in his  stomach by just looking at me and that he doesn't get the same electric  spark I do whenever we touch.

Him not being able to love me back, it just feels... I can't even describe it.

Well, I couldn't describe it actually, until I found the perfect word for it on the internet, that felt just right.

Akoiromantic.

I'm akoiromantic.

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Akoiromantic (also known as lithromantic or apromantic): being  able to have or having romantic attraction but not wanting it to be  reciprocated/feeling uncomfortable when it is reciprocated.

A/N:

This fanfiction was inspired by someone on tiktok!
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Disclaimer:  I myself am not akoiromantic, so please correct me if I'm wrong on  anything from that. I am on the aromantic spectrum though :)