Seriously, I'm not Gay

Chapter 5: Jackson

I howl so loud, the house trembles under my feet. I sink to the floor, holding my stomach. He left. He left me just like that.

Having him away from me hurts on so many levels. He could be hurt, scared, sad. And there's nothing I can do about it.

I was about to chase him down, but my dad stopped me. Something about not wanting to scare him further. But every second that he is away feels like agony. I sink to the floor, holding my stomach.

I would love to say that it's just because of the mate bond-but that would be a lie. I've spent every day with Dylan since I was five years old. He's my best friend in the world. And honestly, I would have missed him mate or not.

The only new thing is my mind-numbing attraction to him. I think back to the way he writhed under me and the way he moaned when I touched his hand and I feel my dick harden. I've never felt attraction to another guy, but right now, all I can think about is Dylan's naked body under mine, and how his small hips would feel in my hands.

I shake my head guiltily. How can I think like that after Dylan so obviously rejected me. It feels wrong to imagine him in that way, mostly because I know how pissed he would be if he knew.

I huff and cover my eyes with my hands. What the fuck am I suppose to do?

The door opens and my head snaps up, half expecting Dylan to walk through the door. But it's only my father. Dylan's dad walks through the door behind him.

"We lost him. I'm sorry son." I nod, looking away. I'm not surprised. Dylan is a fast runner, and an even better hider. If he doesn't want to be found, he won't be found.

"Thanks for the update."

My dad leans down, coming eye level with me.

"I'm sorry about your birthday. It must seem ruined now." I cant even get out words. I lost my best friend and my fictional female mate all in one day.

I stand up, pushing my father away.

"I'll be ok."

"Jackson, you need to start preparing yourself for potential rejection. Dylan seems more resistant to the idea than you do." Dylan's father speaks from the back of the room, looking at me with sad eyes.

The word rejection sends my body into a fit, breaking down all over again. I cant lose my best friend and my mate. I won't let that happen.

"No. There has to be a better option."

My dad looks away from me, scratching behind his neck.

"Say that we kept the bond, but never consummated it. Would that work?" My father looks at me, considering it in his eyes.

"Theoretically, the bond would hold. But realistically, it would be hard to sustain.You would both crave each other endlessly."

I nod, clenching my fists.

"And what if we were to have our needs met in other places? What if we were to date human girls." My father frowns, looking almost offended.

"Such a blow to the moon goddess might ruffle some feathers. However, I would not stop you." I look at him in relief, nodding. That is manageable.

Suddenly, I feel Dylan reappear on the pack link. He's here. Outside the house. My breath leaves my body and a tear falls down my face. He's here. HES HERE! I go to run out of the room, but my father stops me.

"Son, approach him gently. Don't run at him."

I nod, walking rather quickly out of the house. Why is he back? Has he changed his mind? I make it out of the house, stopping when I see him in front of me.