The Truth Hurts [exo]

8

I woke up to the sound of leaves crunching. My eyes opened and I saw the sharp jawline of Jongin against the clear blue sky. His lips were parted and I could see that he was breathing a little hard. Then I realized he was going up a hill and I was sitting in his arms. Though I enjoyed the warmth of his arms, I felt bad for making him work so hard.

“You awake?” he asked without looking down. His lips barely moved and the words would’ve gone unnoticed if I hadn’t been resting against his chest.

I nodded but otherwise didn’t move. I had gone to sleep late last night and I didn’t want to abandon slumber just yet. However, Jongin set me down on my feet without another word. I held onto his arm for a moment to steady myself while I rubbed my tired eyes but then he bent down to squat on the ground.

“Get on my back.”

“No,” I protested, a little bit shocked at his offer. It wouldn’t do well for me to continuously rely on him. “I can walk.”

“Not fast enough.”

I looked around and saw that we were back in a quiet forest. Since I had met Jongin, I always wondered how he knew where to go. It was said that most people would just walk around in a circle if they were ever lost but Jongin always seemed to reach a destination.

“C’mon, Eun Kyo.” He glanced back at me, urging me to make a decision.

After arguing with myself in my head, I took the offer and laid on his back. He stood up and began hiking up the hill again, this time a lot faster. I leaned my chin on his shoulder and tried to fall back to sleep but I couldn’t. Jongin’s words last night were making me think too hard.

He was right about me being the only one who cared so much that he was gone. Sure, the prince held some concern but definitely not as much as I. Was it because Prince Wu didn’t know Jongin as well as I did? But for somebody like me, who only knew Jongin for less than a week, I sure did panic too much.

Who would go out in the middle of the night to look for somebody they knew for a week? Why couldn’t I wait for daybreak?

I tried not to bury my face into his shirt as I dwelled in embarrassment.

Another thing that bothered me was him calling me his little sister. It was a good disguise but he didn’t have to keep it up when we were alone. Unless that’s what he really saw me as.

“What’s wrong?” he asked quietly once the ground was more even and he had caught his breath.

I snapped from my reverie and looked at Jongin’s face which I suddenly noticed was very close to mine. I had almost forgotten that he could read my mind but I was glad that he didn’t.

“Nothing,” I murmured. “Why?”

He kept his eyes on the ground as he walked and he seemed more tired than usual. “You won’t stop thinking.”

My eyes widened in anger. I didn’t think my privacy was so hard to keep...private. Back at home, the maids often scurried around without care and they’d gossip about things they saw. It was nice to be out here without the constant whispers of nasty remarks on my less-than-perfect habits. But now Jongin was going even further than that. “Get out of my head.”

“I’m not in it,” he sighed. “But you’re not asleep and you’re not talking. That’s pretty strange for you.”

“I’m not always talking.”

He scoffed and, even though I wasn’t watching, I was pretty sure he rolled his eyes, too. “Unless I tell you not to, you’re always talking. You even talk in your sleep.”

My lips curled up slightly in annoyance. I was embarrassed that he knew about my sleeping habits. “Fine, then you can talk.”

“About what?”

I racked my brain for an idea. “Oh, I don’t know...How about that second princess that you helped.”

Jongin bit his lip and hesitated again about this princess. What was his relationship with her? “The second princess...” He trailed off into a silence that dragged on. It seemed like he had forgotten our conversation when I spoke again.

“Was she annoying like the first one?” I tried to prompt him.

He shook his head. “No. This one was older and more mature.” He stopped talking again.

My lips parted in understanding. “So...were you two betrothed or something?”

This time his head whipped around to face mine and I lifted my chin from his shoulder from surprise. Our faces were only an inch away from each other and I could see all the fine details in his. He had little blemish scars and a few freckles on his nose. His full lips were drying out just before he licked them again and I smiled sheepishly, like a little girl who spoke out of turn. I shouldn’t have asked him that.

“Why would you think that?” He was clearly suspicious of my question.

“I don’t know,” I looked around the forest, trying to find a reasonable answer. “You don’t seem like you want to talk about her that much.”

Jongin’s eyes turned back to the ground and I noticed that his forehead was damp from the harshness of the climb. I used my knuckles and brushed the sweat from his eyebrow.

“We weren’t betrothed,” he said. “But I took her away when she had just gotten engaged.”

My eyebrows creased. “But you were just protecting her. The fiancé can’t say anything bad about that.”

“But the princess was already very sick.” Jongin’s voice got quieter by the second. “And she passed away shortly after I took her.” His eyes were glazed over as he stared at the ground. It seemed like the dead orange leaves were showing a picture of the princess and Jongin was mourning.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered. I didn’t know if it was the right thing to say at the time but I couldn’t think of anything else. “It’s not your fault.” I could only imagine the fiancé’s sorrow. No wonder Jongin felt uncomfortable talking about it.

He shook his head as if he didn’t believe my words. His voice was barely audible when he opened his mouth again. “But it is. This is all my fault.”

---