Vendetta

Chapter 2

After her mass, we all went to our homes. The Godsons offered to drive me and my parents  home and they went back to their house from there. I ran to my room the moment I opened the door, tears welling up in my eyes. My mom tried calling out to me as I ran up the stairs to my room, she was concerned about me and she wanted to follow me to my room but my father told her to let me be, I needed time to be on my own, I was going crazy in my own head with all these emotions bursting out of me. I just couldn’t believe it, I couldn’t bring myself to accept that Vanessa was gone, my friend was nowhere around anymore…she used to be everywhere around me but now she was not. I entered my room and locked the door behind me. I collapsed on my bedroom floor and I wept. The pain I was feeling was unbearable, I just wanted it to stop, I wanted my heart to be okay but that was something which was never going to happen. Nothing prepared me for this phase in my life, I wasn’t ready for this, it crept up on me and destroyed everything in it’s path. I couldn’t breathe and my voice was fading, all I had to express my pain with was the tears sliding down my face uncontrollably. I noticed a shadow under my door from outside, proceeded by tender knockings.
“sweetheart? Honey please open the door. (Sniffles) Macy? Macy sweetheart please open the door”
My mom pled from outside my door, crying. I never liked seeing tears in my mom’s eyes, her cries made me so vulnerable each time and I would always do anything I could to get her to stop but how could I do that now when I was going equally in so much pain. I covered my mouth and cried some more as my mom stood outside and pled with me to come and open the door, she eventually gave up and walked away. I crawled into my bed and took out a picture of Vanessa from under my pillow. It was a picture from our school field trip. I had no intention of going to that field trip but I had to…because my best friend was going and she was going to miss her best friend. I remember how she’d entwined her arms around me in that picture and I objected to it but she did it anyways. She had the brightest smile in that picture…she was so happy about life and everything, she didn’t deserve this. I covered my mouth and silently cried. For the first time ever in my life…I felt alone, I felt exposed and weak. I couldn’t stand on my fe….
…(a loud bang on her window startles her)
What was that?!
I went quite as I waited to hear the sound again. Was it really…?
(Another bang sounds on the window)
And there it was again, the sound on my window. Someone was throwing gravels at my window. Vanessa was the only one who used to do, she’d do that when she knew my parents had grounded me and I wasn’t allowed to see anyone, she’d throw gravels at my window and I’d opened the window for her to get in through it.
It couldn’t be!!
I slowly got up from the bed and stood planted, wondering whether I should go near the window or not. The sound came in again as a third gravel was thrown at my window and startled me. I held the picture to my chest and slowly approached my window, each step feeling like the ground was melting under my feet. I got to the window and I closed my eyes, holding the picture much firmer to my chest, I cleared the curtains from the window and with one brave push, threw the window open.
How dumb could I have been?
I felt rage and disappointment as I stared down at Nicholas McCarthy waving me over.
“Pssst, hey Macy, come down for a bit”

I looked silently at him, feeling the rage climbing all over my body.
“WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT?!!”
I screamed down at him, letting loose all the bottled up pain and anger out on him. He took a few steps back, shocked at my response at him, I couldn’t care less, that wasn’t the most upsetting news I was dealing with.

“..hey..uh.. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to come off…I was just trying to check up on you and see whether you were okay, I’m so sorry if, I don’t know, crossed a line or something “

Sorry?! Is that what everyone else was going to say?! Sorry? The police was sorry because they fucked up and couldn’t do their work properly and now my friend is nowhere to be found. The Godsons were sorry they weren’t good parents enough and let their daughter out into an inevitable doom, my parents were sorry because there was nothing they could do to bring my friend back and now Nicholas McCarthy was sorry too? How convenient it was for everyone. I looked at him

“You want to check up on me? Why? Oh cause we’re friends? Oh right cause Vanessa was your friend so that automatically makes us friends? You’re not my fucking friend, no one was. None of you really cared about me, the only one who did was Vanessa and now she’s gone so stay the hell away from me.”

I told him and pulled my windows back in and locked it. My heart still racing from rage. My dad came to knock on my door right after, asking whether I was okay because they heard me shouting from down stairs. I told him I was fine and he went back down. I stayed up in my room throughout the night and didn’t even go down for dinner. My mom also refused to eat after she’d come to knock on my door again to get me to come down and have dinner but I refused to open the door. She ran into her room and shut the door and cried. My mother wasn’t used to experiencing this painful side of her daughter, and It was heartbreaking for her but there was nothing I could do to help her. I was basically useless, I deviated trying to read out a speech for my best friend’s mass and sucked even more at trying to console my grieving mother and be a good daughter. No wonder my best friend got away from me, who wouldn’t ?


Written by
Penny.