BRING A WATCH!!!

(IMPORTANT!!! The idea of bringing a watch was taken from Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality by Eliezer Yudkowsky. Link: www.lesswrong.com/hpmor
This is a wonderful story and you absolutely should read it. The actual story is original.

It's today! The great Triwizard Tournament! I'm ready to GUARD THOSE HOOPS as if my LIFE depends on it! 
Well, my honor definitely does. 
Then again, I can always convince them that it's the team's fault, since they didn't let me play much, since I'm a backup keeper.

Whoa, whoa. Backup keeper? In the real game? No way! What are you doing here?

Look, the actual keeper got injured. It wasn't my fault - no matter what you'd think. I didn't really want to play. But, here I am, standing in line with my broom in hand. 
I think the broom actually wants to fly. I shake my head. I'll never understand inanimate objects.

Anyway, back to my plan of blaming everything on my team. Hmm, what do I say? "They thought I'd never play, so they didn't let me really practice?" that seems like I'm convincing them that their behavior is justifiable. No way, I think that backup players should play more. 
Have you thought about... these types of quirky, clever plans before? Or is this the first plan of this caliber that you'd made?
Oh, no need to flatter, they're not that good. But yes, this isn't my first plan.

I'd tell you the story of the spilled milk or the sausages with teeth marks in them, or the basketball-through-the-window and convincing old Albus Dumblydore I would prefer to retake the test because the teacher was snoring too loudly, so I couldn't think. 
But we don't have time. 
We do have time for me to tell you that my quidditch team - the Dementors (The other teams say it's 'cause we're evil and suck their souls out. Don't listen to the other teams - they don't want to win only by playing, for them the whole game is also psychological. Boo.) - hired me for my brains. Why they would make me a keeper is beyond my understanding. 
(I like to think about these stupidities as 'under the radar' - like my smartness operates on a specific plane - anything too stupid or too smart is not comprehensible to me.)

Really, the reason I'm talking to you is because I've realized something far more important than my honor. Something more important than winning or losing the game. Something so meaningful to the game because it's a problem in the very ROOTS of the game.
The snitch. 

Let me quickly explain what in Merlin's beard I'm talking about here (I wonder if we're ever going to say Dumbledore's beard like that). 
What is the snitch? I know you know. But what does it mean for the game?

A win. The end of the game. 

Lovely. So you understand this. 

What?

You frown. Why? You just said 'a win'. Who is important for catching the snitch?

The seeker. The Dementors have an amazing seeker. 

Sure, sure. I'll pass what you said about her to her. Anyway, does that mean that everyone else is important to the game?

...Uh... Yes! They've always been important!

Riiight. Now you're just blatantly ignoring what I just said. I meant that if the other six players don't rack up OVER the amount of points that the snitch gives, all their little meddling is useless.

Merlin's beard! You're from the Dark Side!

What? Who's the dark side?

Dark Side. You know, the followers of he-who-must-not-be-named!

You are an imbecile. When did I say that I thought that only purebloods should play the game? Anyway, if rumor is true, the guy had a muggle father. His name was Tom. Like Tom and Jerry.

...?

You're kidding, right? Really, you don't know what Tom and Jerry is? That's... that's sad. Oh well. Anyway, I don't believe in the pureness of blood. Have you tried DNA tests to figure this out? I'll wait until science approves things before I pick my side.

Oh, you're a muggleborn.

Now you're the one talking like someone on the Dark Side. My point is, we need to get the snitch out of the game. You're a good author, Rowling. Or do your first names mean that everything was a joke?

I can write. But you'll have to convince me to listen and create this.

I haven't convinced you yet? Look, I bet you, historians will tell you the seeker position was created for a rich and influential person. Most likely male. This guy was also very bad at everything, so they let him fly after something shiny with wings. 
It was originally a bird, right?

I think so. Go on, please.

This guy obliterated the other six positions. He became the most important - and when he died, things stayed his way. 
The change I want is a watch instead of the snitch. 

A watch. 

A stopwatch, to be precise.

A... stopwatch. 

I want the game to end when we choose it to end. There's been really long games, right?

Three months was the record, I think.

Three months. That could've been avoided if we had a watch.

It's only happened once.

It could happen again. All I'm saying is that the seeker is too important, and the position should be removed from the game.

Removed?! But... how would we know when the game ended?

Obvious. The watch. Is your attention span so short?

I'll think about it. 

You don't have time. The Revolution of Clocks begins with this game, and you're now part of it. Whether or not you want to be, you are. 
You have to choose whether to act now, when your actions will make a difference, or to act... later, when nobody may even notice what you're doing in the chaos the Clock Revolutionaries have created. 
Choose wisely. 

[I lean in, whispering into Rowling's ear.]

A large banner with the words 'Bring a Watch' with a watch counting forward on it should work. I'd've done this if I wasn't actually playing. Good luck.

-----

Rowling is sitting in the middle-line of the stadiums. 

She is murmuring something and waving her wand around a small object in her hand. 

I smile, and hit the ball away from the goal posts. 
I'd like to think it was luck or even skill, but the other team is also part of the Revolution of Clocks, along with mine. Everyone but the seekers - who have to try their hardest to catch the snitch. 

The snitch evades their grasp. And again, and again, and again.

I see the first letter pop up into the air. A letter 'B' of pure light, followed by 'R', then 'I', and soon 'BRING A WATCH' is glowing neatly in the air above Rowling. A gigantic clock floats up under the words. It reads 00:31:46. 00:31:47. 00:31:48. The seconds tick by, and the seekers trace a figure eight above the rest of the players. The snitch has not been spotted after the most recent goose chase.
At first people move away, afraid of being seen as 'followers' or even agreeing to the notion that the snitch isn't a good idea. 
I watch a person stand up, though, and sit down next to the famous author.

Rowling is writing something, now. 

People slowly trickle towards the flag, more as each hour ticks by.

Words glow up on the other side of the stadium: 'SNITCHES ARE COOL'
A couple fake snitches glow yellow around it, causing a few moments of confusion from the seekers.

The difference in the surrounding crowds is noticeable from our viewpoint above the stadium. 

The snitch escapes over and over again. 

I think we're going to win this battle. 

Clock Revolutionaries: 1
Snitch-Keepers: 0