Sunflower Love

❁~-----------❥---------

I'm not a morning person. Never have been. Never will be. I've always hated mornings.

So why I was up at 7am was beyond me, but I haven't been able to sleep well recently so I grabbed a cup of coffee in hopes that it makes me feel a bit better by the time Theo shows up. My sleep this past week has been elusive, escaping me even when I knew I needed it. One day it's from the guilt of keeping things from Theo. Another day it's from the guilt that I haven't reached out to Julianna yet. But most of the days though, it's from the feeling of Liam's hands and breath on me.

I know I'm going crazy, but it still feels so much like he's right here. Last night I slept a little bit better because of the FaceTime with Theo, but this morning I woke up in a cold sweat from a nightmare. It was Liam. Again.

A knock on the door pulled me away from my coffee. I stood, a little excited because the only person that came to mind was Theo. And while my excitement was the most prominent feeling, I couldn't help but feel extremely nervous. This conversation was probably amongst the last things I wanted to do today. But I knew in order to move on, I'd need to tell others for them to understand or maybe I wanted someone to help me. And Theo was on that list of people that I think would be open to helping. Keyword is think. Truth is, part of me wished that I knew if specific people truly cared or not. It would make me feel a lot more secure in opening up about things. Although maybe that is a selfish wish.

I stared at the door for only a brief moment long before I took a deep breath in and swung the door open, but instead of green eyes meeting mine, it was ones of a Mr. Jesse Parker. He gave me a small smile and I returned it with one of my own.

"I know I'm probably not who you were expecting...or maybe even wanting to see at this very moment..." He trailed as he took in my appearance. Probably taking note of the bags under my eyes or Theo's shirt that I hadn't changed out of since Monday.  "I thought you might need some strength today before Theo came by." It was a small gesture that I don't think even Parker realized the weight it held.

Someone open to helping.

"You really are becoming my new best friend..." I mumbled as tears pricked at the edges of my eyes. "Kate is gonna kick your ass if you keep pushing your luck like this." I laughed as tears slipped down my cheeks. I hadn't realized how tense I was until the relief set in when it was Parker standing here. I wasn't necessarily opposed to talking to Theo at the moment. I actually longed for him to be here more than anything. But this was something much bigger than that and I didn't know if I was mentally prepared for the 'what ifs' that could surface from that.

I mean what would I do if Theo doesn't like me anymore? Would I be able to stomach that? Would the others leave me too? 

Parker shook his head, a sad smile making its way onto his face, "Have you talked to Kate?" I think my face gave away the answer cause he immediately nodded, blowing out air as he turned to look down the stairs. 

"Did you want to come in? You probably just got off your flight and I can make you coffee or something." I open the door wider for him, but took note of the hesitation. "Unless you got somewhere else you need to be. I'm fine, Parker. I appreciate you stopping by, but I hope you don't feel like you have to stay." I hold my hand out, palm upward. "I'm okay. Promise." 

His eyes light up a little at the sight of my hand and he reaches forward to tap twice on my palm before resting his gently on mine. The warmth from his hand grounded me and I hoped I could provide even a fraction of that for him one day. "Thank you, Parker."

He lets out a shaky laugh as he pulls his hand from mine and shoves it into his pocket as he shakes his head, "I don't know why I'm getting worked up. Nothing happened to me." Parker's sleeve got caught and his ghost tattoo peeked out. It was then that I recognized the semicolon that was used to replace the eyes.