Good Cop, Bad Cop (Aaron Hotchner X Reader)

Tension

We got inside the SUV's and went back to the Police Department, so we could grab our stuff and head back to the hotel. The plan was to get back with the jet the next morning, because it was already 1 a.m.

The team arrived at the hotel and we went back to the rooms. I hadn't forgotten that I would be sharing a room with my boss, and to be honest, that was the only thing on my mind.

Hotch unlocked the room and we went inside. We put our bags down and I walked towards the bed and let myself fall on it. Although I was really tired, I didn't think I would get much sleep. I was still really stressed out about what happened earlier. Those wide eyes of James after I shot him doomed out of the dark as I closed my eyes. I sighed. 'Rough one, huh?' I said, trying to start a conversation with Hotch, because right now it was just awkward. 'Yes, it was.' He sighed and sat down on the edge of the bed on the other side. I put my arms behind my head and stared at the ceiling. 'How do you guys handle these kinds of cases?' I asked, frowning. Hotch turned his head and looked at me: 'We try to not let them affect us personally and talking about it helps.' I chuckled. 'What's so funny?' He asked. 'Well, it's ironic. You're telling me to talk about it and you never talk about anything.' I quickly turned my eyes to Hotch, because it was not really appropriate for me to be thát honest. I expected some speech from my boss or the "ignoring-treatment", but instead I got a little chuckle. 

'You look kind of normal when you smile.' I said, smiling back at him. 'Mmm.' He hummed and looked at me. I folded my lips and exhaled deeply, trying not to let the sound effect me. In the dim lighting of the hotelroom, he looked really hot actually. He was a little worn out, because of the stress from the case, but it made his hair a little messy and his face a little darker. He looked a bit more intimidating than usual, but the smile seemed to take it all away. 

I looked at the ceiling again, trying to avoid Hotch's gaze. I heard him take off his shoes and placing them next to the bed. With a muffled sound he laid next to me on the bed, also staring at the ceiling. 'Ever thought there's a reason I don't smile?' He said. My heart began to race again. I sat up and looked at him, his eyes meeting mine. 'Well, yes, but-' 'Profile me.' I looked at him with a frown: 'But sir, we promised not to pro-' 'Profile me. What do you think?' I thought about it for a second, it felt wrong, but he insisted. 'Well, I noticed you have Jack, but you don't wear a wedding ring. You don't smile a lot, which indicates that you take this job very seriously, but that it also harmed you in the past. I guess that something must have happened to your wife or ex-wife. Also, I think that it affected you deeply, because someone definitely hurt your feelings and maybe even hurt you physically. You make sure to keep work and personal matters seperated.' I looked at him with slitted eyes, trying to read him, but like always, there was no emotion. 'You show no emotion, which means you haven't been able to share your emotions with someone in a really long time.' He nodded and sat up. 'Great work, Agent y/l/n.' I looked down, embarrased I had profiled him. It felt wrong. 'I don't really like this.' I said and I played with my fingers out of awkwardness. 'I know, but you too deserve to know what happened.'

Hotch told me that he was happily married before, but his job got in the way and he divorced his wife Hayley because of this. They were constantly fighting about the fact that he was never home and Jack would be the victim of their fights in the end. They decided it would be better to get a divorce. Soon after that, the team dealt with an unsub called The Reaper, George Foyet. He told me that Foyet had murdered his ex-wife Hayley and thus Jack's mother, before he could save her. 'I was so worried about them and I am so glad that I still have Jack.' He said with tears in his eyes. 'Hotch, you don't need to tell me everything if you're not ready.' I said. He looked up and said: 'No, you deserve to know. The whole team knows.' I nodded and out of emotion I grabbed his hand and brushed the back of it with my thumb. He looked at it, but didn't do anything about it. We sat like that for a few minutes. 

'So, now you know why I don't smile often.' I stared at my feet. 'I'm so sorry, Hotch.' 'Don't be. It's okay right now. I learned how to handle this.' My e/c eyes met his dark brown eyes. 'I know.' I said and sighed. 

'Is it okay if I grab a shower really quick? I think it will be nice to release some tension.' I said and smiled sheepishly. 'Ofcourse, y/n.' 

I got up and grabbed my pajamas, consisting out of a satin set, tanktop with shorts. I went in the hot shower and thought about everything Hotch had said to me and about everything that had happened tonight. The glances, the way he trusted me, the way he pushed me against that desk earlier, it all had to mean something, right? I let the steam calm me down and scrubbed my whole body, trying to scrub every worry off of me. 

I stepped out of the shower and got dressed. When I walked back into the room, Hotch had changed into his casual clothes he wore before we got called to the crime scene earlier that night. He sat in the chair in the corner, reading a book and he looked up as I entered the bedroom. My hair was still soaking wet and my skin was so hot from the shower, it felt like steam was coming from it. 'A shower can be so calming.' I said, let out a sigh and smiled. Hotch smiled back and turned his attention back to his book. 'I really needed it.' I said and walked towards my bag to grab my phone and sat on the edge of the bed. 

Chat with Emily:
Emily: Hey, I noticed you're still awake? Saw you were online.
Y/N: Yes, rough night.
Emily: What happened?

Y/N: Hotch told me about Foyet.
Emily: Oh... Well I'm glad you know now.
Y/N: Yes, me too, explains a lot.
Emily: Try to get some sleep, love, you need it.
Y/N: I know, you too. Goodnight <3

I locked my phone and laid it on the nightstand. 'I think I'm gonna try to sleep.' I said and looked at Hotch in the corner. 'Me too. It was a long night.' He said and looked at his watch. He got up and stood next to the bed: 'Are you sure you want to share a bed?' 'Yes, we both really need the sleep.' I said and smiled. 

He got next to me in the bed. It felt really weird sharing a bed with my boss and I was still a bit upset about everything earlier. Hotch fell asleep fairly quickly, but I couldn't fall asleep. I kept seeing James' eyes in my mind. I was lying on my side, facing away from Hotch. I could feel him turn to me in his sleep and he groaned as he turned. I tried to ignore the sound. 

After an hour or so, I could feel myself getting a little panicky about the images in my head. Everything that happened that day had made such an impact on me. I decided to turn around and lay on my other side, to solve some tension. As I did, Hotch moved a little and when I fully turned around I laid just a few inches away from him. I looked at him as he laid there. His hair messy and his eyes peacefully closed. 

Suddenly he moved and put his arm around me. I froze and my head was trying to think of something that would get me out of this situation, but before I could do anything, he pulled me closer to his chest. I could smell his cologne and felt his warm body against mine. I held my breath, hoping he would not wake up to this scene, and... he didn't. I could feel myself calm down in his embrace, the tension of the case just fading away and I was finally able to sleep...