Ariana janelle Davidson. Her friends call her aria she's the Boston Celtics favorite athletic director/ trainer. Jayson Tatum.the most well known player on the team. Him and Ariana have a history and a present. Her and jayson are stuck together no m...
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I'm a mess. I'm such a mess. I should've told everleigh everything but I couldn't. I was scared she'd react the way she did and it hurts so much because I couldn't be with her all those years to see her first steps her first game her first day of school I wasn't there for any of it when I had Everleigh I told ben to take her because I didn't know what to do. I was young and I had a child. I wanted to live more. I didn't know what to do so I didn't give Ben an option but to take her he still graduated college and became a basketball player but me, I did it but without her. My baby wasn't there to see me and I wasn't there to see her and that shit hurts. It's all my fault. I know Ben is blaming himself but he shouldn't I made the decision to give her away like she was nothing. Ben is taking this a lot harder then he should. I walked into Everleigh's room at the house and I saw him sitting at the edge of her bed his hands in his head. I shook my head and sat next to him. I looked ahead and sighed "Hey" I said to start up conversation He didn't say anything I sighed. "Ben none of this is your fault. It's mine I should've told her everything but I kept it to myself and I was planning on telling her but I saw her so happy she was finding herself and I couldn't mess that up for her she was so happy Ben and I ruined that because I kept a secret from her and it's all my fault so don't you dare blame yourself I'm just as much to blame as you are" I said to him He lifted his head tears dwelling in his eyes like he was fighting to let them out seeing him so broken made my heart break I just looked at him and I could see and feel the sadness radiating off of him. Play here :( "You don't know what she said to me Ariana. She said I hate you don't come looking for me I never wanna see or hear from you ever again. That little girl had been my rock and my only reason to keep on going in life you know how hard it is to hear your daughter say something like that and destroy you?" Ben said My breathing hitched "You know what Ben I don't know. I don't fucking know you know why because I left that girl the moment I had her i abandoned her she needed a mother and where was I, partying and drinking living my best life without a single care in the god damn world you got to see her grow up into the beautiful woman she is today you got to see her first steps you were most likely her first words you are at her first basketball game YOU WERE THERE FOR IT ALL I failed her so please don't give me the sob story that it hurts you cuz in the end when this is over who is she gonna run to? It's not gonna be me it's gonna be YOU it's always gonna be you" I said with sobs coming out of my mouth I left the room in such a hurry I just grabbed my keys ignoring everyone and everything I couldn't take it anymore I just wanted to get out so I drove to the park and I ran to the field thank god it was empty I stood in the middle of it and dropped to my knees and I let out a ear piercing scream one that let out all the sadness I've felt over the last week one that made the birds fly away it released everything I've ever felt. When I was done screaming I ran my hands through my curly hair out of stress. She's always gonna have him and I know I have my own kids to worry about but she doesn't even know me I don't know her I don't know anything about her not like I thought I did she came to me when she needed me and I let her down. I sat down and my hands started shaking I couldn't breathe it felt like the world around me was spinning my heart was pounding and I was sweating I was broken and I needed to fix this. It felt like everything was going a million miles an hour everything hurts. Life was slipping away from me and I couldn't stop it. My heart feels like it's broken into a million pieces. I don't know how to make it seem like I'm okay but I'm not she was my daughter and I left her it feels like everything I've ever known about myself was ripped away. How could I do this to her? To myself? To my first born? I should've been the one to help her through everything and I didn't I left her alone. I don't know what to make of myself. I made a promise to myself to make my first born the happiest person it would've ever been but I failed her and I regret it so much. I slowed my breathing and closed my eyes when all was done I drove back to the house. I opened the door and deuce came to me and jumped in my arms "Good morning mommy" he said with a bright smile I smiled and kissed his cheek "Good morning papa did you sleep well" I asked him He smiled at me and nodded "Daddy is gonna take me to the gym so I can watch him work out" he said excitedly I smiled at him he makes the pain go away faster I'm so thankful for my boy. "Make sure to take pictures for mommy okay" I told him he nodded "Are you hungry papa" I asked him He said yes so I carried him to the kitchen and I made him chocolate chip pancakes with some strawberries while he was eating and talking to me jayson came down with Ivy she's gotten way bigger and she for sure takes after her father like a spitting image of him and she and deuce almost look like twins to be honest
