Immortal Earthling

Chapter 1: Keyboard Warrior

Ow ow ow ow!! Pain arced through every inch of his body as the stench of burnt flesh filled his nose. Wait a sec! What's going on?

Zu An was certain that he had been arguing with a bunch of people on an internet forum just a few seconds ago...

...

It was a stormy day. A thunderstorm was wreaking havoc outside his windows, but it did nothing to dull Zu An's furious typing. He was trolling the absolute shit out of a bunch of users on a forum, insulting them to the point of speechlessness... ahem, which is to say, he was gently persuading them through heartfelt appeals to their sense of decency.

All of a sudden, there was a blinding flash of light accompanied by a thunderous cacophony. A basketball-sized clump of lightning drifted through his window, glowing with a strange, hazy red light.

Following that, Zu An remembered hearing an absolutely miserable scream ring out, followed by an utterly indescribable sensation. He vaguely recalled seeing the keyboard in front of him vaporize into dust along with his hands, which had been placed on the keyboard. More and more of him had been vaporized, until finally... everything became a blank.

...

Was I just hit by lightning? What the hell was that thing? Ball lightning? As a highly qualified keyboard warrior, he had naturally read up on these phenomena before. He was naturally quick-witted, and instead of feeling frightened, he was overcome with excitement and eagerness. Holy shit! Have I gained superpowers? Maybe I'm going to turn into the Flash! Or maybe even Captain Atom?

He struggled to open his eyes, but everything in front of him was a blur. He had no idea where he was at all. Suddenly, a stabbing pain radiated into him from his fingertips. He jerked his gaze downwards and 'saw' something before him - although he wasn't sure if he was just seeing things.

There, floating in front of his fingers, was a keyboard. It looked identical to the one he normally used, but the keys looked gray and lifeless. He tried tapping on the keys, but none of them was budging at all. It was as though they were locked in place.

"You have successfully bound the 'Keyboard Warrior' account. Upon fulfilling the necessary conditions, the relevant abilities shall be unlocked." An icy voice reverberated in Zu An's mind, scaring the crap out of him.

What the hell? Zu An thought to himself. Why can't I be the Flash, Spiderman, Iron Man, or something cool like that? Although the 'Keyboard Warrior' title kinda fits my personality, it sounds... weird.

"So what do I need to do to unlock these abilities?" Zu An asked hurriedly.

"Collect the secret manuals from the Twelve Unknowable Regions of this world and then embed them in the F1 through F12 function keys. Each time you collect a manual, you'll unlock a corresponding ability," the icy voice replied.

Only then did Zu An notice that the function keys on his keyboard were covered in strange runes. He surmised that these corresponded to those twelve so-called secret manuals.

"Good luck, Keyboard Warrior!" At these final words, the keyboard began to fold in on itself. It transformed into a shadow before seeping into his fingertip, vanishing from sight.

"Wait a second! What the hell are the 'Twelve Unknowable Regions', and how am I supposed to find these secret manuals?" The words tumbled out of Zu An's mouth, but no matter how he shouted, there was no response from the icy voice.

Zu An wanted to cuss. A keyboard? This is bullshit. Why do other protagonists get to start out with something cool, like the Midas touch and stuff, whereas I have all my abilities locked up? On top of that, the 'Twelve Unknowable Regions' sounds incredibly dangerous, and I doubt they'll just hand out secret manuals freely. And I need to get twelve of them?! This is bullshit!