When the stars were bright (Andley)

Chapter twenty two

A/N: Right now I’m writing this, not because I want to. I was reading a book called ‘My name is memory’ and then my uncle called by, and my dad was fucking mad at me. I like ran upstairs and forgot to take my book with me. I know they’re drinking right now and I don’t wanna go downstairs. Fuck my life. Ugh. Anyways; here’s another chapter. *insert smiley face which isn’t as happy as it appears to be*

I dropped the razor again and stumbled over to the toilet and kneeled down in front of it.

This wasn’t good, this wasn’t good at all.

I was gaining too much weight. I have been ever since I met Andy, I think even before I met him I gained too much weight. It’s not that I’m blaming Andy, but he’s way too sweet to me. He bakes pancakes for me, he cooks dinner, and he gets me sweet stuff all the time.

I’m getting way too fat, which I probably already was. I mean, that has to be the reason why nobody loves me; I’m a fat, pathetic emo kid. Well, I’m not really a kid anymore; I’m 21, but still. You know what I mean. I am ugly. I have scars, I am fat, and I’m an emotional wreck.

I thought a second about whether I was sure about what I was going to do, or not. I had never slipped up my food before. But right now it was something necessary; I needed to lose this weight.

I pushed two fingers down my throat and gagged. Fuck, this burns like hell, I thought as tears welled up in my eyes. But I couldn’t care less. I pushed my fingers in again and gagged, again. The third time, however, I pushed my fingers in deep enough and threw up, in the toilet. I started crying softly as I threw up again. This burned like fucking hell. I already hated doing this, but I knew I would do this a bunch of other times.

I threw up one last time and then washed my face and flushed the toilet. I brushed my teeth and checked my face one last time in the mirror before I went downstairs again.

Andy was settled on the couch, watching Batman. He was cute. I didn’t deserve him.

“Hey baby, you OK?” he asked softly. I nodded “I’m fine, thanks for asking” I said and sat down next to him.

He snuggled up to me and I wrapped my arms around him, holding him close to my chest. I loved him so much, I only couldn’t believe he loved me. He was way too beautiful to love someone like me.

I sighed quietly but Andy looked up. “Are you sure you’re okay Ashy?” he asked, “you seem so sad” he said. “No, I’m okay” I flashed him a fake smile. He smiled back and focused on Batman again.

I looked at the clock and I saw it was ten o’clock. Shit; Jake would be over in an hour.

“I’m gonna take a shower, Jake will pick me up in an hour” I told Andy as I stood up and kissed his forehead. “N’aw, I was comfortable” he pouted. I flashed him another fake smile and went to the bathroom.

I grabbed a clean sweater, boxers, socks and a black skinny jeans and then turned on the shower. I waited until the water had warmed up and then stepped under it. I turned the shower a little hotter, I like hot showers. I took a nice, long shower and then dried myself off and put on some clothes.

I blow dried my hair and styled it. Then I applied a thin layer of eyeliner and went to the living room again.

Andy was still settled on the couch, watching batman. His cheeks were a bit red and he was leaning forward to the television screen; waiting what move Batman would make.

I chuckled and Andy looked up at me. “Hey Ash” he said. “Hey” I replied and went over to sit next to him on the couch.

I pulled out my iPhone from the pocket in my jeans and unlocked it. It was five to eleven; Jake could be here any minute.

The doorbell rang; that had to be Jake. I saw I was right as I opened the door. Jake looked horrible; his face was pale, he had huge bags under his eyes and it looked like he'd lost a lot of weight.

"Hey Jake, you OK?" I asked softly. "Yeah I'm fine" he said absently. "Wait a sec, I'm gonna say bye to Andy" I said. Jake nodded and I walked to Andy. "I'm going to Jake's" I said. Andy nodded and looked up at me, "Can I have a kiss?" he asked shyly. I nodded and smiled. I kissed him softly and then I went back to Jake, who was looking at his feet. 

"Hey," I said softly. Jake looked up; his brown eyes were filled with tears. "C'mon," I said, I took his hand and flashed him a friendly smile, which he weakly returned. 

Something was wrong, I could feel it in the pit of my stomach. This couldn't be good...

A/N: (second A/N of this chapter, I know). I have 12 prompts for Andely oneshots that I'm willing to write so prepare for new oneshots :) Also, I don't know if I'll be able to upload very often. I'm in the fourth year of HS, and I need to pay attention in class cause I need to get better grades, so that means no writing in classes. 

I also do a 365 days photochallenge (cause I love photography), that takes also pretty much time. 

So I do a 365 days photochallenge, I have exams this year (and next year), and I write fanfics. AND I have to go to school. So I'm pretty busy at the moment.

I'll try to upload as much as possible, but I can't promise anything :(

Ps. (link to my 365 days photochallenge pictures) http://flic.kr/ps/2jMsez :)

Pps. Oh and I also run a blog http://underexp0sed.tumblr.com