The Perfect Promise

Chapter 37: It was always you: Part 4:

~Chapter Song: Say You Won't Let Go, James Arthur~

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A/N:

⚠ Trigger Warning: Panic Attack ⚠

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I checked almost the entire school, until I found Cameron in the toilets, sitting on the floor; his back on the wall. He held his head between his legs, gasping for air. I kneeled in front of him.

"Cameron.", I said once, but he didn't raise his head. I brought his hands to my chest, holding them tight. "Cameron." I brought his hand on my cheek.

"I know it's hard, but focus on my voice.", I brushed my thumb across his cheek, "Look at me, okay? Just look at me."

He met my eyes, still fighting to breathe. "Breath with me.", I rested my forehead on his and took a few deep breaths, "You are okay."

He tried to follow my pace, managing to take some breaths.

"I'm here", I said and kept taking deep breaths, "I'm here.", this one came more in a whisper, "You are doing great."

I stroke his cheek and gave him a smile while taking the last deep breath.

He was more relaxed now. Still shaking, but better than before.

I hugged him and we stayed like that -without saying a word- for what had seemed like hours. He kept whispering "Thank you." to me, and I answered each one of them, with an "always".

That was my promise to him. I would be there if he needed me.

Every step of the way.

Always.

Cameron's parents came to pick him up, but I stayed behind. I told him a million times that I could come with him if he needed me to, but he reassured me over and over again that he was okay, "Thanks to you.".

We told everyone that Cameron got sick, only Ben, Mark and Christine knew the truth. Not the whole truth, but enough. They knew about the panic attack, Cameron told them, after it, but that was about it.

They were still in the unknown about our deal. Which wasn't great. I thought that after the breakup, this would be over -the guilt, the lies- but It wasn't.

It felt like I was swimming in a sea of lies, and drowning in its waves.

I couldn't keep this up anymore. I needed to talk to someone.

Anyone.

One person popped into my mind. The only person that if I tell her everything, it wouldn't have more consequences.

Ms. Bell.

Before the end of the last period, I walked -more like I ran- to the room the teachers were, during their free periods.

I saw the familiar red glasses in the back of the class and called her name.

"Ms. Bell, can I please talk to you? Please?"

"Of course, honey.", she pointed at a bench outside, "Take a seat. What do you need to talk about?"

I sat across her and told her everything. From the beginning 'till the end. About our lies and acts. My friends' teasing, the rules, the promises, the football match, the tech day, the party, the family gatherings, the tribble date, the car conversation, the breakup. The kiss that changed it all.