I said I wouldn't...

She said she wouldn't

Where do I start there's so much going on with this pair... this couple had known each other for at least 14- 15 years, lived together, dated, separated, had up and downs and lots of memories with each other. Time went on through the years, the girl moved out and did her own thing, after time went by, she reconnected with him only to be a single mom. He took them both in, but again there were those ups and downs, she left again and disconnected for a few years. After a while he reached out to her, and they paired again. Only to find that she still had that love and affection for him as if it never went away, no matter what she did it was always there. They never did live together anymore, but always stayed in contact and visited each other. Some time went by, and he decided that since his kids were of age, he was tired of being in the same place without purpose and living his daily life the same, he eventually packed up and left the place he had called home for the past 20 years. One day he told the girl he was leaving, but the girl didn't know it would be that next week and so soon. She didn't even have time to do anything with him or enjoy his company one last time. Yet, she knew that has only going to be about 3 to 4 hours away from her, it was still so far and hard to let him go. She showed her jealousy, her anger and a little bit of happiness toward him in that short time before he left, but overall, she was mostly hurt. So, it was the day he was to leave, and all she got was to say bye the night before, she got no notice that day or a bye even, it was just like that, and he was gone.

Yes, they stayed in contact with one another for a while, but now, it's only occasionally they talk, seeing each other every so often. She had convinced herself that seeing him was over and he left for good, but until it was the first time since he left, he went to visit her. She remembers that day so clearly, they saw each other and had a long embrace. They spent the day talking and catching up on each other's daily routines. They both expressed their feelings for one another after all the time apart. The day and night just went by so fast for them it was time for him to leave and her to go back to her single mom, stagnant day to day life. Before he left, they stood in the parking lot and talked and eventually said they're long goodbyes. The girl cried all the way to her car and on her drive home, she knew it would be hard to leave him again, but she didn't realize that what that would do to her the following days after. She was miserable, it was painful for her to have feelings toward him and have to let him go, not just across town but to a completely different city miles away.

Days later, after all the crying and emotions she put herself through, she finally convinced herself that she was going to stay away from him and let that last meeting be their last time. It was just too painful for her to have those feelings for someone and not be able to see them on a regular basis. Weeks after, he asked her if she was available to see him again, same spot, same time. She thought about it and obviously her first thought was yes, but instead she told him no, that it was for the best that they not see each other anymore and it was just too hard on her to see him leave the way he did. To her surprise, he agreed. He said that he has lots of love for her too and it was hard to leave her, but he knew that he had to and it was a better opportunity for him in the long run. After she told him her thoughts about seeing him, she went back into emotions and went against everything she didn't want and said yes, I want you to come see me, I'm sorry I told you no and I will deal with whatever emotions I have later. The following day he arrived. She met him and gave him the biggest hug and admired him. They talked, went out to grab lunch, went back to the hotel and then relaxed. It was always like they never left each other, nothing had changed between them. The night went on, they enjoyed their company, then it was the next morning. Again, it was time for him to leave. The girl knew that this time was coming and again, she knew how she would feel once he left. Why was this girl doing this to herself again? Putting herself through those emotions that if she allowed would break her. As much as she resisted the tears and wanting to say the goodbyes, it was right up until the last moment he was about to leave when she couldn't hold it anymore. The tears came and all that being tough went out through the window. She gave him a long hug and told him to be safe driving home and walked away. Yes, she cried walking to her car and on the way home but when she got home, it stopped. She knew the last time how she felt and for how long and this time had to be different, for her. Its always easy for guys to not have emotional attachments to things or people the way women do, but she had her own life to live and daily struggles. The girl said the last time she wouldn't put herself through that again and the hurt she felt, but deep down she knows that she will never tell him no and will always want to see him. No matter what happens to them, she will always have a special connection to him, they were flawed but cared for each other deeply. Fourteen plus years with someone after all that they've been through, that just doesn't go away.