A year after leaving the BAU, Spencer Reid is restless and struggling to adjust to civilian life. Not finding any fulfillment or respite in it, he decides to take a position with Homeland. On assignment he meets you, a former Master Gunnery Sergeant...
Warnings: canon typical stories, mentions of being a widow, grief, anxiety, fear, descriptions of story-typical Middle East troubles, explosions
Summary: You and Spencer have an awkward morning, and run into Mercer again. Later, Spencer goes on his first trip outside the wire
* I used a different gif on Tumblr and AO3, but Wattpad is being weird with gifs lately....*
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The next week went by in a blur. Morello, Barretti, and Garrett did some scoping work with other units since they had some downtime. You went over satellite data mostly with Peanut as Spencer spent his days with Alijah and going over the notebooks you'd given him.
You weren't sure exactly why you'd given them to him. There was something about Spencer Reid, something that made you think he'd figure out whatever you'd missed inside... all the while hoping he never figured out who Angel was. He didn't need to know that part of you, nobody did, except Alijah and once upon a time, Teddy.
He hadn't quite cracked the code yet, but he'd told you he figured out some of the repeat filler words and the symbol for Angel, Teddy's nickname for you. You weren't sure why, but it made you nervous... that all of this was happening faster than you thought it was going to.
He'd told you most of what Teddy had long ago. He learned her favorite color, her favorite music, and was teaching her a bit of English. Spencer didn't say, but you knew he was using the Redwall book to do so.
You hoped she liked it. It was your favorite.
You spent most of your nights sitting outside with Spencer, talking quietly into the night. He was easy, and you didn't have to force anything with him. It was nice, something you started to look forward to.
It also frightened you. You were his superior, the person who had to bring him home to his family and his life back in DC, and the fluttering in your belly that appeared each time you found him out there wasn't helping.
You were a widow, a military widow no less, and that in itself brought a lot of baggage and emotions to the surface you'd kept hidden for a long time. You were still in love with your husband, trying to finish the mission he'd left behind when he died. Even though you weren't cut out to be Alijah's mother anymore you still wanted to get her somewhere safe before moving on with your life.
You'd made up a room for her long ago when Teddy first told you about her, ready to leave the Marines after your bit and settle into the role of a mother. But Teddy died and Alijah had been lost to the desert... Her room now sat empty, ready for a child that would never come. You'd left that house for a small apartment, but never sold it.
She needed your help, the help Teddy promised her, and now you had Sivan to worry about. It was enough without thinking about Spencer and his stupid smile or his floppy hair.
Teddy would make all sorts of jokes if he were with you right now.
He'd laugh and tell you to lean into it, and even though spending nights with Spencer Reid wasn't cheating on your husband... it felt like it. You'd still be wearing your ring if you were stateside, as the rubber ones soldiers wore out here just didn't feel the same to you. It was difficult to remind yourself that you weren't married anymore.
