You & Me (Harry Styles)

Chapter One

"I really don't want to go, E," I roll my eyes.

"You have to. It's Friday. On Fridays we get drunk, Ellie." Erica, my best friend, explains this to me like I'm a moron.

"You'll be fine without me for one Friday. I've had a really shitty week, let me wallow in my own self pity in peace like a good friend," I plead while falling onto my bed.

Erica growls at me. Growls. Like a damn bear or something. "Ok here's what we're NOT gonna do. We're NOT gonna let some douchebag ruin our Friday night. Everything he said about you was wrong, he's just a petty asshole who can't handle being dumped by a woman."

I think back to the night before.

I feel like I'm gonna throw up. Or shit my pants. Or both. I hate break ups - why can't I just ghost him like a shitty person and be done with it. FUCK. Ok I'm a good person, I can do this.

I look over at him sitting on the couch next to me, absolutely oblivious as to what's about to come out of my mouth. Drew isn't a bad guy. In fact, he's been nothing but a gentleman during our 3 months together. He opens the car door for me, knows my Starbucks order by heart, communicates how he's feeling - wait, why am I breaking up with him? OH right, it's just not there. The spark? Nonexistent for me. Nada spark.

I look over at him again, studying his dark hair, the curve of his nose, his full lips. He's so damn cute. Damn, I wish I felt it. This is what I get for being a hopeless romantic. I could live a perfectly good life with Drew. He has a great job as a lawyer, he loves his family, and his life is much more put together than mine will ever be. We would raise picture perfect kids, have decent sex once a week and live happily ever after. The more I think about this the more I think something is actually wrong with my brain for wanting to break up with him. But realistically, I don't want just a FINE life. I want PASSIONATE love. I want the "can't keep our hands off each other" type of love. As gross as it sounds, I want the love my parents have. They've been married for 27 years and you'd think they just got married yesterday. The amount of times I've caught them sneaking kisses, dancing around the kitchen, and other things I will not be speaking of. Nevertheless, I want it. No - I NEED it. Which brings me to where I am now.

"Hey," I say loudly enough for Drew to hear. He pauses the TV and looks over at me.

"What's up, babe?" God I hate when he calls me that, but thankful he did because it just put some fuel in my fire. Just rip off the bandaid, El.

"Ithinkweshouldbreakup," I breathe out. Drew's face looks like I just slapped him. Shit.

"What do you mean you think we should break up?" he asks slowly. I reach over and take a sip of my water to give me a second to think about what I want to say next. It doesn't work.

"Well, I mean. Um, well," I stumble over my words.

"Spit it out, Ellie." Shit. He's pissed.

"I think we should break up. I've been thinking a lot lately and it just really feels like something is missing with us. I mean, we've only been dating for three months and I feel like we came out of the honeymoon phase as fast as we went into it." I hope he doesn't hate me.

"El, let's be rational about this." He shoves off the couch and starts pacing. Which makes me anxious. I get up and start pacing.

"Drew, I've made up my mind. I think you're awesome and this sucks for me too but I don't want to waste anyone's time. You deserve a girl who wants the same things you do." I sit back down and take a deep breath. God this sucks. I really hope he doesn't hate me. I squeeze my eyes shut as he gets ready to respond.

"Ok then. Let's get your stuff together then and I'll walk you out." Wait, that's it? He walks around me and begins collecting my belongings. My blanket, my toothbrush, and a few articles of clothing. Wow. That was easy. Why was that easy? Why does a little part of me just want him to fight for me?

"So that's that then." I say to his back.

"Yeah, El. That's that. I'm sorry it didn't work out." He says as he pulls me into a hug.

"Do you not even want to fight for me a little?" I whisper. Wait, why did I say that? This is what I want, right?

"I'm not gonna sit here and try to convince you to be in a relationship with me, Ellie." Oh, well that seems fair. I turn to walk out the door thinking this has been the most cordial breakup I've ever had.

"Ellie," Drew calls out as I open the door.

"Yes?" I turn to him with hope blossoming through me.

"You'll never be satisfied with any man you ever date. You want things that don't exist, and one day when you realize this, I'll be long gone. I'd wish you the best, but I'm afraid I am the best. Have a good one" he finishes his last sentence while slamming the door in my face. I just stand there. Mouth agape. What the fuck just happened?

I refocus and respond to Erica.

"He's not a bad guy. I mean, maybe he's right. Maybe I have these unrealistic relationship expectations," I say into my pillow.

"I call bullshit. Get dressed before I start screaming," I peek out from under my pillow and Erica's mouth is wide open like a damn fish.

"Don't scream, I hate that," I narrow my eyes at her.

"AHH-"

"FINE, SHUT UP. Fuck you, but fine. Alcohol will only make this worse but whatever. Yolo, am I right?" I finally get up and head toward the bathroom.

"Ew shut up no one says yolo freak." I hear Erica say in disgust as I close the bathroom door.