Nyanta & Pomeko

Chapter 57: The past of the forest school

[This happened in the past]　

It was the summer of my eighth grade year. After the incident with Saito-san, Kisaragi, and Nanako-san, I was spending the school day alone.

　I didn't want to stay at home with my stepsister and stepmother, so I went to school first thing in the morning and either studied in the library or read a novel. The same goes for after school. After spending some time in the library, she went home.

　Saito-san hasn't come to the library since the incident. It was fortunate that we were all in different classes.

　I tried not to worry about people's eyes on me. Whenever I was alone, I felt as if everyone was laughing at me.

　Every time someone talked about me behind my back, it wore me down.

　I just wanted people to leave me alone. No expectations. If there were no expectations, my heart wouldn't be hurt.

　HR before the summer break.

　My homeroom teacher in junior high school must have had a good time at school.

　She thought that all students can get along with each other.

"Assign your groups as you see fit!　You can team up with any of them you like!　Hahaha, guys, forest school is not just a trip!　Enjoy your youth!"

　Deciding on the groups for the forest school. Everyone made their groups, talking and deciding their plans.

　I had no choice but to join one of the extra groups.

　Classmates write their names on the blackboard. The teacher looked at the blackboard and let out a doubtful voice.

"Hmm?　There's someone who hasn't joined the group yet, right?　Shinjo, you need to talk to your friends and join the group, you know?"

　That made me jumpy.

　I hadn't expected my name to come up here.

　The teacher must know that I was alone and had no friends.

　I had no choice but to get up.

　I pretended to be thinking while looking at the blackboard with a piece of chalk in my hand.

　I could hear my classmates sneering at me.

　The time I spent standing in front of the blackboard with no answers felt terribly empty.

　Because I don't have any friends. I don't want any friends.

"No, I don't like that guy."

"No, no, my group is full."

"Our squad doesn't need an other man."

"Ha, it doesn't matter if we're missing a man."

"Wai, Shinjo, pupu, I'm sorry"

"Poor him"

　Words that do not express emotion. Words that look down on others. Airy words.

　I thought no one would believe me after the incident at the elementary school. And yet, people make the same mistakes. I was lonely on my own, so I tried to believe in someone else.

　You get your hopes up and get betrayed.

　I wish I had never met Saito-san at the library.

　I should have rejected Kisaragi's false confession outright.

　I shouldn't have fallen for Nanako's cheerfulness.

　I know, it's really all my fault. I can't blame others.