Him. Her.

01

Do you know that weird, heavy feeling you get in the morning right after a concert?
Post-concert depression I think they call it.
That's how I felt waking up that morning.
Top-it up with actual depression because that man's music has this overpowering ability to resurface all these sneaky feelings that I managed to successfully bury over the years - not without tearing myself apart during the process of course.

But here I am, waking up in a hotel room, a thousand miles away from home. Years after the last time I saw her, still thinking about her as if it was only yesterday that she held me in her arms, promising that we were forever.

Anyway. Been there before. WIll bury these stupid feelings once again.

This was supposed to be a fun weekend right?
Travelled to Prague to watch Harry Styles live. Stroll around the beautiful city, enjoy nice restaurants and cocktail bars. Escape reality a little bit.
And it was all going according to plan until last night.
The concert was amazing. Harry is a fabulous performer. Nicole and I absolutely enjoyed it.

There is this sweet melancholy in his music though. Cannot really explain it.
Something about unspoken truths, repeated mistakes, wasted feelings, wasted time, losses.
It hit me right where it hurts.

Spent a few minutes in bed, images from the previous night flashing before my eyes. Had a look around the room, and it looked like I was alone. Nicole must have already left, she had work stuff that would keep her busy until late night, so had the day to explore the city by myself.

I pressed play on Spotify, letting the music fill the room before I lazily led myself off the bed. I took my time getting ready, while coming up with a plan for the day.

First things first, I need coffee.
Enjoying a nice ice cold coffee sitting at the park? Yep, sounds awesome.

It must had been at least one hour later when I finally managed to leave the hotel. It was a warm summer day, the city was busy and vibing. I come from a small place, a little island, so whenever I am in a big, vibrant, noisy city it kinda feels liberating. Being small in a big place, surrounded by strangers, so many possibilities and so many new things to discover. It's exhilarating. Just the mere feeling of walking around feels enough.

I tried to get lost in the little streets, carefully checking all the coffee places until I could spot the one which I would trust with my morning coffee. I always go with the small places. The ones that look like are being run by a true barista, passionate with their coffee beans! And I found it! A tiny shop at the corner of the street, right after a quiet square, somewhat hidden from the busy with tourists areas. Walked in and ordered my cappuccino, no sugar. Skimming through the place I could mostly see people working, too concentrated on their screens. A couple of friend groups chatting and laughing. Jazz music filling up the space. I like the atmosphere in here.
The friendly barista handed me my coffee with a smile, and minutes later I was back on exploring the city, curiously looking around as I was once again getting lost in its bridges and picturesque squares. 

It wasn't long later when I finally made my way into the park. I walked around, taking it all in. I am not going to lie, I was feeling quite overwhelmed and lost in my head. I was thinking about the concert, and at the same time I was getting flashbacks of a life that seemed to be well lost in my past. Airpods in my ears playing his melancholic music, making sure to keep me in that 'out of space' mood.

The park was beautiful, so I tried to bring myself back to the present and enjoy it as much as possible. There is this little game that I play in my head every time I am in a new place: observing the people around me and creating stories about their lives. Trying to paint that picture of where they are coming from, how their relationships look like, what heartbreaks are they carrying.

Cannot even remember for how long I was walking around, when i eventually broke my daydreaming and realised that I found myself in a completely quiet side of the park. I looked around and there was no one. I could see a small lake a couple of hundred metres away from me, the tall trees were becoming more and more closer together and the grass high enough to cover my shoes. I liked the idea of enjoying a bit of silence in nature, so I carried on walking towards the lake. 

The water was so clear that you could see the colourful pebbles at the bottom of the lake. I looked at my reflection at its surface, the tall beautiful trees around it. I sat on a big rock at its edge, not able to believe how lucky I was to discover this little magic corner which I could have for myself only!

Would be nice to share this with her though..

No, stop thinking about it! Stop thinking about her!

And here I was back to my daydreaming, staring at the crystal lake waters. The music in my ears kept me protected from the outside world.

It was during those brief quiet moments in between the songs that I suddenly heard footsteps. It rattled me a little. I was even annoyed that someone else had discovered my own beautiful secret spot. I didn't look up, tried to ignore it.

But I failed.

I saw a tall figure with the corner of my eyes, a man. He was in yellow running shorts and a black cup. His walk was somewhat hasty, as if he was running from something.

Quite contradicting to the tranquil surroundings.

Just a quick second later it hit me. This figure looks awfully familiar.

I turned to have a more careful look, trying not to be obvious.

OH MY GOD.

I know that I can't be wrong, but it also doesn't really feel right..

It was Harry. Freaking. Styles.