Hell's Winter

I : An Answered Prayer

1899

It was cold.

I can remember the bone chilling, shrill breeze...the kind that makes all of your appendages numb to the elements. I can remember it like it was yesterday. I was young, hopeless and hungry. Clinging my slender pale arms to my body trying my damnedest  to muster up any warmth I could come up with. Mother had kicked me out into the alleyway besides our residence. I have a client coming over to do business with and the last thing I need is him seeing that I have a pathetic snot nosed brat in the house. Its bad for business. I can hear her less than pleasant voice shouting at me, with poison dripping from her words. She pulled me by my ear out of the house into the snow covered alleyway. Without so much as a second glance she slammed the door, nearly catching my hide. How can a mother have no remorse for throwing out her only child to entertain some male suitor who would undoubtedly treat her like a vicious dog who'd been thrown a scrap of meat. She hadn't wanted me. She was stuck with me. The only purpose I held to her was when she was begging for handouts. Even the nastiest of stuck up people couldn't turn down a poor single mother with a small child. Most mothers enjoy the pleasure of children. Mine wouldn't even let me call her mum. The last thing my father had said to me before he left was that all women were whores and trash. Soul sucking scum who only wanted you for your money and vanish as soon as hardships came along. I was staring to ponder on his words and think he was right when far in the distance I heard the most beautiful sound to adorn my ears, laughter that could have only come from an angel on earth. A godsent. That's when I saw her. 

I was just remembering her face when a low voice brought me from my thoughts. I turned my head and brought my attention to the disturbance.

"Ryan, we've spent many sessions for the past few weeks reflecting on this same memory and you continue to stop at the same part. Who is this girl you speak of and why are you so afraid to continue?".  

The voice belonged to none other than Dr. Hargreeves. One of the...kinder doctors at the facility. I looked around the room, observing the various PhDs and nick-nacks adorning the walls and the top of his desk. Not so subtly avoiding his question.

Why was I so afraid?

I could try and lie, say I wasn't afraid. I could say it was absolutely preposterous to insinuate that I  was afraid of a woman. But we both know that was quite a lie. And we both knew it.

The truth is, I was afraid. I was very afraid. Not of her. But of what I had done to her. 

Thoughts and images flashed through my mind as I remembered the events that led to my stay in this oh so wonderful institution. I could hear her soft voice speaking in my ears again. That's when I broke my silence.

I was 12 years old. My birthday had just passed and as a gift, God had sent me an angel. It was hard to believe as the man upstairs and myself had not been on the best of terms since, well...my birth. 

"My god you must be freezing!"

I was frozen in place; but this, time the cause wasn't the harsh wind and gentle snowflakes gathering upon my eyelashes. It was because I had just seen the most beautiful girl in the whole world and she was speaking to me. Her words were stern but her voice was gentle, and soft. 

"Have you been locked out?! Is everything alright?". As she came closer to me I could see her features more clearly under the illuminating light of the lamp post. Snowflakes were covering her brown locks which were styled into two neat plaits. Her eyes were as dark as the night sky but held a warmth of a thousand lit fireplaces. 

"My mums thrown me out. Her males visitor isn't fond of snot nosed brats or so she says.". I say with a hint of malice in my tone.

"Well that just isn't right. It is absolutely unacceptable!" she said with passion lacing every syllable "Come with me, my fathers shop is just around the corner, we'll get you warmed up. Have you eaten anything? Are you hungry?"

Who was this girl and why did she care so deeply. she hadn't even known me and she had shown me more concern and kindness than anyone else who had came into my life.

"I haven't eaten in a day and a half, 'm practically starving" I said lightheartedly trying to ease to sudden built up tension as we started to walk towards her fathers shop. 

She looked at me with eyes as wide as the moon above us and dramatically threw her head back, an agitated growl leaving her lips. "You've got to be joking!" She muttered as she walked with a quick pace in front of me. I couldn't help but chuckle at her reaction. Overwhelmed by the warmth this mysterious girl who appears to be not much younger than me has caused to spread through my insides like a roaring fire. I paused in my tracks as she continued with a quick pace, nearly slipping on the ice that has accumulated on the ground beneath us. 

"I don't even know your name nor do you mine which is Ryan by the way, and you're inviting me into your fathers shop, after hours to feed me and give me warmth. Are you an angel?" I inquired with a slight smirk, which she soon returned. 

"Quite the charmer aren't you." She said annunciating every word with imaginary punctuation, "My name is Arabella, and I'm here to save you." She said, smiling wide.

If only she had known then what the years would have in store for her..