Respite

Maternity and Matrimony

Credits to nima20207 for suggesting this chapter! More notes at the end.

(Warning for mentions of self-harm.)

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There was yelling in the cavern. Alice stepped out of their temporary home and heard commander Virion's voice. He sounded nervous. That was never a good sign. Seconds later, her son emerged from around the corner, sprinting at full speed toward one of the tunnels.

"Arthur! What happened? Where are you going?"

Arthur stopped in his tracks, panting. His eyes were wide, and his face lacked it's usual composure. 

"Tessia is gone. She took Virion's medallion. I need to go after her."

No. Not again. Not like this. 

Her legs felt like they were about to give out. She stood shakily, her arms falling limply by her side. "Don't do this to me." 

Her son was back. They were finally together as a family. And now, he wanted to leave?

"Mom... I have to go."

"No. You don't." Her lips quivered but her voice held firm. "You don't have to do anything. You're supposed to stay here!"

Arthur looked away and grimaced. He walked up to her. Carefully, ever so gently, he rested his hands on her shoulders and squeezed. It was a small comfort at best.

"I need to go, mom. I'm sorry. I really am."

His blue eyes peered into her own. Conflicted. Desperate. Couldn't he see that she was too?

"Arthur Leywin. I've never asked for much in this life." Her hands came up and caressed his face. She traced his jaw with her fingers and rubbed his cheek with her thumbs. He had the same features as his father. The resemblance was always there. Yet, she hardly had any time to see it, let alone notice. "As your mother, I want you to listen to me, just this once. Please? That's all I ask..."

It was the same feeling she had when Rey left—when they left to defend the wall and ward off the mana beasts. She brushed it off as being overly worried back then. But now, she knew this feeling for what it was...

Arthur gave her a tender smile that nearly broke her heart. "I won't be long."

She had to convince him to stay. That nagging feeling persisted, gnawing at her insides, like an unsettling foreboding. A bad premonition. Call it instinct or intuition, she knew deep down that if he left, she would never see him again. 

"Please, Arthur..." Her voice cracked. She let out a choked sob and her shoulders shook with fear. "Don't leave us again."

Alice mentally cursed herself. A single teardrop trailed down her cheek. Her eyes started to water. She couldn't let the last image of her son's face be blurred. She needed to see him clearly. She had to tell him before it was too late. 

He held her gaze with a saddened smile, lips trembling, as he pulled her in for a hug. He was taller than her. Startlingly so. She never really realized until that moment. He was always somewhere far, far away. And she was never there to watch him grow into the young man he is today. She was never by his side. Never.