Reignite

Chapter Seven

•Chase•

Cole and I decided it would be better to wait till the next weekend to visit the club. A lot of things are being publicly reported now about Gianna, and it's a weird time to go to Pulse. It was finally my weekend though, and it felt good to kick my feet up and relax at home.

I feel like i've been avoiding spending time here because of Emily, but I decided I needed to do something to fix it. Well, I tried to fix it last night, and Emily and I seemed like we were going to finally have sex again after months, but when she touched me, nothing.

I'm not even joking. The fucking thing didn't even so much as twitch. She was so furious that she went to sleep in the guest bedroom. She told me I 'must have been too busy with the whores all week that my dick is fucking sad about it.'

I texted her this morning to let her know I made reservations at her favorite restaurant for 8 tonight, and it took some convincing but she agreed to go with me. I think all we need is a little romance, get our heads off of all the stressful shit we've been fighting about and try to have a good time again. Emily is a little difficult sometimes but she has a good soul, and at one point we were insanely obsessed with each other, so I know we can be. I kind of wanted to dress up and wow her so I got my best casual suit on, slicked back my hair and wore the dress shoes I wore to our wedding.

Can't wait to see you, what time will you be home? We should probably leave by 7:30 so I hope you're heading back by now.

I hit send after over thinking the entire text to shit not wanting sound too pushy. I mean, she doesn't work far but she's still cutting it close, she usually likes to freshen up after work so I just want her to have time. I hear my phone ding as I put it back in my pocket and excitedly pull it back out.

Sorry, working late, won't make it.

I stare down at my phone in disbelief for what feels like hours. I can't believe she would cancel on me like that an hour before were supposed to be at dinner. My heart totally sinks as I throw myself onto the couch, feeling sorry for myself. Am I really just a fool? I mean if it was for Emily, I would drop everything to go see her. Is that too much to ask of your own spouse? No. It can't be. And why the hell am I moping on my couch? I'm not some 50 year old loser who is stuck in a marriage, alone at home hating himself yet. If she doesn't want to go out with me I can go out with myself, I don't need Emily to have a good time. I grab my keys off of the rack by the door and get in my car.

—

I somehow find myself parked around the corner from Pulse. I'm such a fucking idiot. I don't even know why I'm here.

I walk in and the familiar smell almost brings me some peace. The upbeat music and happy faces instantly relaxes me. I take a seat and look around, nodding politely at the blonde who always brings me a beer as she signals that she's coming to bring me one. That's when I realize, it's a fucking Thursday. Shit. Wait, no. Why the fuck am i disappointed? I didn't come here to see her...

The blonde comes up and sets the drink down, but this time she sits beside me instead of running back off the bar. "Your girl isn't here tonight," she says, looking genuine. I nod "I know, I just wanted a quick drink to clear my head." She smiles. "Not a cheater, huh?" She laughs, and it takes me a minute to realize she's referring to cheating on my favorite dancer and not my wife.

"She's a lot to handle on her own, I'm not sure I can do two." I try to play off from my awkwardness. She laughs and agrees, and then has to quickly get back to work.

And I'm lonely, again. And worst of all, the conversation reminded me of fucking Emily. I mean, maybe I should take the initiative and set up some marriage counseling for us both. I think we both need it. I'm sure she's stressed from work and maybe I am pushing too hard about the baby situation. I just always dreamed of having a family and living that picture perfect, white picket fence life. With her, of course.

Then, just as I'm taking my last sip and thinking of leaving, I see him. Ignacio looking suspiciously around the club before walking backstage. Fucking bastard has finally shown his face. I put my glass down a little too hard, concentrated on where I saw him sneak off to.

Don't do it, Burrows. I can hear Sarg in my head, warning me. I shake myself off and decide not to fuck up my marriage and career all in the same week. I decide to quickly leave the club and head to the station.

Once I get there, I'm once again greeted by Camilla. "Chase, what are you doing here? It's your day off!" I smile, and decide to stop and chat. "Well, I guess it's hard to pull a man away from a job he loves." She crinkles her nose and says, "What about the woman you love?"

I look down and she probably sees my fucking patheticness. There's no way it hasn't been written all over my face for weeks now. "She's working late anyway," I try to brush it off. Then she gives me that fucking look. That look of pity. Thankfully Sarg comes out and I don't have to continue to embarrass myself.

"Burrows, what the hell are you doing here?" I turn to face him. "I ended up stopping by the club for a quick drink, and I saw one of the brothers slipping himself in the building." He immediately radios for someone to go drive around the club, and gestures for me to follow him.

Somehow I end up spending my whole fucking night off at work. The night I was supposed to spend getting the spark back with my wife. I sulk out of the station, not even bothering to look at Camille. I'll have to apologize tomorrow, but right now I just want to be left alone.

When I get home, I hear the deafening sound of silence. My ears are ringing so loud it hurts. I bought this house, imagining kids yelling and running around it one day. Instead, I come home to no one.

Where are you? I text.

Staying at Lisette's tonight. She's having a rough week.

I throw my phone across the room. So fucking am I, I growl in my head. I hold my head in my hands and sit on the bar at the kitchen island.

Lisette is Emily's older sister. I do feel bad for her, she just lost her husband 6 months ago. He had an aggressive cancer that they couldn't throw enough money at. Now, she's alone with her son, who's about 8 by now.

And I don't care if I sound like a fucking asshole, but as often as Emily seems to care and be there for her, she's never been here for me. I wish for once she'd prove that I'm her first priority in life.

Maybe I'm just not ever going to be.