AM I SELFISH TO WISH IT WERE ME WHO HAD DIED THAT NIGHT INSTEAD OF YOU?
The Fourth of July in Cousins is all about traditions.It was always the same whenever Ivory had the chance to spend the summer with them.
She'd wake up in her bedroom and would quickly get ready before running off to the Fisher's house, she'd fight with Conrad for the last muffin before they eventually split it like always, she'd help Susannah decorate while the boys steam clams, then at night she would sit with them as they shoot off fireworks.
But this summer is different.
She doesn't have her brother anymore, her parents are in a different country, and she's dating her first friend in Cousins Beach.
"Hey, what's wrong?" Conrad asks softly, noticing the slight gloss in Ivory's eyes.
"It's my first summer here again, my first Fourth of July here, without Niki." Ivory admits. "I mean, my parents are in a different country so it isn't like I have them and I can't bother them because they're busy with work. Honestly? Being back in our summer house reminded me too much of Niki. I miss him everyday at home and I thought I wouldn't miss him as much if I came back this summer but I do. God, I miss him so much."
Conrad pulls her closer when a wave of sadness hits him, kissing her head and wiping away her tears.
"It's okay, you can cry. He wouldn't want you to keep it in." Conrad mutters, rubbing circles into her back.
Her soft sobs fill the silence of the night, the tears creating dark spots in his shirt.
"Why did it have to be him? I mean, both fucking dumbass drivers made it and my brother died. Hell, I lived! And I just fucking wish that I didn't." Ivory cries, her breath shaky. "Is it wrong of me to think that?"
"No, I would think the same way if it were Jere." Conrad assures, glancing over at the guitar he hadn't picked up since the night he interrupted Belly's date. "Hey, how about I sing you something to go to sleep, huh? Nikolas wouldn't want you to be sad and you know he's watching over you."
"Yeah, he's probably glaring down at you." Ivory sniffles. "He hated you."
"Oh yeah, he definitely hated me." Conrad laughs a little. "He undoubtedly still hates me."
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𝐈𝐒 𝐈𝐓 𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐍𝐎𝐖 ᶜᵒⁿʳᵃᵈ ᶠⁱˢʰᵉʳ
Fanfiction𝐈𝐍 𝐖𝐇𝐈𝐂𝐇 they met because he hurt her head, and if only she could've known that it wouldn't be the last time he hurt her. ᵗʰᵉ ˢᵘᵐᵐᵉʳ ⁱ ᵗᵘʳⁿᵉᵈ ᵖʳᵉᵗᵗʸ ᶜᵒⁿʳᵃᵈ ᵃⁿᵈ ⁱᵛᵒʳʸ ᵛᵉʳʸ ˢˡᵒʷ ᵘᵖᵈᵃᵗᵉˢ ᶜᵘʳʳᵉⁿᵗˡʸ ᵇᵉⁱⁿᵍ ᵉᵈⁱᵗᵉᵈ 𝙋𝙍𝙀𝙑𝙄𝙊𝙐𝙎 𝙏𝙄𝙏𝙇𝙀 "𝙀𝙉𝙊...