THE WRONG PERSON

I Tried.

The story didn't end here. That was just the beginning. The beginning of  end of my love story. See, I fall for people very easily and I hate that. I literally hate that. It has been a record that my love stories never ended well. I was a hundred percent sure that this one won't end well as well. Still took the risk.
After that conversation, I started hating him. But after that bus incident, I started to crave him more and more, untill one day, I finally decided to loose my self respect and text him. You see when you love someone (one sided), you always end up loosing self respect. I texted him first, maybe because I needed answers to those questions that were popping in my mind since the last conversation. If it was not a timepass, then what the hell was that? I texted
Me: Hey, can we talk?
Him: we are.
Me: Not like this, I mean, face-to-face.
Him: Not sure. I got some classes to attend.
Me: oh. Can you adjust? It's important.
Him: VERY important?
Me: I guess so.
Him: ok, so..When and where do you want to meet?
Me: At, a restaurant? Or maybe G.H. garden. It is a very silent place.
Him: No! Not at a restaurant. Will look like a date. The Garden sounds good. What time?
Me: Today at 6:00 PM
Him: Perfect.
Me: Ok cool. Bye.
Him: Again bye? Why are you so boring? Can't you enjoy life?
I thought 'I was enjoying my life. Then you came' but I didn't write it.
Me: Haha sure.

                           6:00PM
We met. I wore a black half sleeved top and dark blue jeans. My hair were open. He wore a blue t-shirt and Dark blue pants. His hands were roaming freely in his hair every two minutes. His pink lips were now visible as he wasn't wearing mask. His eyes were deep. Skin was fair. He's taller than me. The moment we met, He went for a hug and I went for a handshake. That was awkward. We finally made a decision. We did a side hug. I could still smell the same Cologne  on him. He was comfortable, even to hug. He was soft, but his hands were rough. We both decided to go for a walk. Everything was going well. But, as usual, he likes ruining things that are going well. He stopped at a very silent area, held my hand, pulled me towards him. He tried to smell my perfume I applied on my neck. His eyes were closed. So were mine. "Why?" I whispered in his ear with all the pain. He pushed me away from him. I couldn't open my eyes because I was sure, i am going to cry if I open them and see him standing right there. He came closer. I could feel that. He gradually allowed his hands to move freely on my face. They were on my jaw at first and then on my lips. I moved away from him. It was not like i was uncomfortable. I was happy with what he was doing. But I couldn't understand why he doesn't want to love me.
"Because I can't" he whispered in my ears. I opened my eyes. I saw him. He was in more pain than me. I held his hands. He held them tight. He don't want to loose me, but he is. He is loosing me. At first I Wanted him. Now I need him, knowingly this does not have a happy ending. He wanted love not sex. His eyes were craving love. His eyes craved a tight hug. I gave him hug and i was ready to give him the love he deserved. But he was not allowing me to love him. He could have all of me if he wanted to. Infact, he wanted to, but he couldn't. "Why can't you..." He said and stopped. "Why can't you what?" I asked
"Why can't you just leave? I don't want to fall for you. It's not like, you're not my type. You are. Only you are my type. But I have got a lot of things right now, because of them, i will not be able to give you enough time and LOVE. Please leave." He said. His absurd answer made me sad and angry at the same time. "What about the bus? Accept that it was just a game for you. Accept it and I will leave." I said. "It was not. You are not a game for me. I just cannot love you. You can delete my number, maybe block me. You can do whatever you want to because..." He paused.
'Yes, i want to hear what comes after that because.' I thought.
"Because..?" I asked
"Because I'm leaving for Canada in two weeks. Forever. I won't come back. Not even in vacations. Canada is going to be my home." He said. I pulled him away from me as we were hugging. "I don't have anyone here. My whole family is shifting there! FOREVER! I won't be able to see your face ever again. " He finished. A tear fell of his eyes indicating his love. Now i understood how he wanted me but couldn't have me. I was ready to leave. I had extreme pain in me. A cry was stuck in my throat which would explode any moment. I turned around to leave. Took a few steps. My eyes were almost filled with tears.
He suddenly ran and hugged me from back. His hands wrapped tightly around my waist. "I am sorry. I am so sorry. I love you." He said as he cried. So did I. Both of us cried. The cry stuck in my throat bursted. I held his hands that were around my waist. I turned around in his arms and hugged him very tightly. He pressed me hard against himself. I could barely breath. My head was on his chest. I could feel his heart racing. I lifted up my face to see his. He was already staring at me. He had a quick glance of my lips and then my eyes. He slowly bent towards me and finally, our lips met. His lips were so soft. He tasted every bit of my lips. It was almost dark so nobody saw us. We knew it was going to be hard to part our ways. But we did. We parted our ways. i reached home, grabbed a cushion, and cried out loud on it. Only my cushion knows the pain I suffered. It know the tears, the screams, the depression. Every damn thing. If only, my cushion was a person. After crying, I called Vedika. She was stunned to hear that I had my first kiss from a person who is not going to be mine. She still handled me well. To make me laugh, she cracked some lame Jokes on me as well, like I don't ever see red flags. I might be colourblind. I pretend to be happy. After the call, I went to my room and slept. I woke up at 12:00 the next day. I could not believe I slept this much. I didn't meet anyone for a few days. I thought that this love story of mine won't matter because it was just like others. Where I feel love, they don't. But this did. This mattered a lot. I could never ever forget him. I've had a crush on him from past five years and now when he said he has the same feelings, it's too late.

Finally the day came. He was going to Canada. Forever. I had no courage to meet him. I didn't go to airport. But suddenly, my doorbell rang. It was him. He came inside and politely said, "I'm leaving in a few, though I should meet you." "Oh yes, I remember." I said with a broken voice.
None of us are good at hiding. We both broke into tears. "Is it so important to go?" I asked crying. "I don't want to. But I have to." He said. He again, pulled me towards him. Very close. He again smelled my perfume on my neck. But this time, he also kissed my neck. He gradually went up towards my lips. He softly bit my lips. He kissed them. That lasted for a minute then he had a call. He had to go. We hugged again and he left. I didn't go. I could not see him leaving me forever.

Today it has been 8 years since I've seen him. Ofcourse, we do video calls sometimes but,
I miss his fragrance
I miss his kiss
I miss his comfort.
I miss HIM.

You know it is said that you can never 'un-love' someone.  You can just love another person more. I was hoping that to happen soon. Maybe it did...