youre here now (but id wish youd stay forever)

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by cateblacnhett

by cateblacnhett

Sam Puckett through the eyes of her roommate.
(ONESHOT)

Cat was never scared of Sam the way everyone expected her to be. When she spoke about Sam in school to her friends they always questioned how Cat so gracefully accepted her request of the two becoming roommates. But then Cat never questioned why she said yes either.
When they're in the apartment together Cat spends a lot of time analysing the blonde woman, watching her do the same things she does everyday with so much attentiveness, like she's never seen Sam lounge on their sofa whilst she's devouring whatever food she finds in the fridge, or like she's never seen Sam sprawled out on her bed in her so typically Sam side of the room playing catch with whatever is closest to her and occasionally hurling something towards the redhead to express her boredom.
Perhaps her favourite activity of Sam's to analyse is when she's asleep, a woman capable of so much havoc in her most peaceful and mild state, Sam always ends up in the strangest sleeping positions and Cat wonders what goes through the blondes head whilst she sleeps, often wanting to live inside her head for just a day - to see life through the eyes of the woman she's so enthralled by.
Life is so easy knowing Sam is around, how anyone could ever be afraid of her she would never understand.

Sometimes Cat looks over towards Sam deep in her slumber, catching her occasional twitching and soft grunts, and frowns. Cat isn't stupid (by contrary belief) she knows Sam is damaged and some nights, more often than not, she will frown so hard that a tear will escape from her eyes, wishing to take the blondes pain away from her. Don't get her wrong, she loves how abnormal Sam is. She loves that she would without hesitation threaten to kill anyone who says anything mean about the redhead, or the puffy haired young boy who often takes refuge in their apartment. Sam would kill for the people she cares about, and however much she pretends she doesn't through her hatred of affection or the rejection of the hugs Cat would try and fit in as often as she could, somehow and somewhere in her sadistic heart, Cat knows Sam cares.

Cat doesn't ever want to lose her blonde roommate, and if she could she would savour every thing about her, all the empty cans she leaves around the apartment the redhead would dream of making statues out of. Or the clothes she leaves on the floor of her side of the room Cat wishes she could wrap up and preserve forever. So if Sam were to ever hop on her motorcycle and leave, Cat would have small pieces of her to remember forever. Some days when Cat comes home from school to find the apartment empty, her heart drops and fear spreads to every part of her body - Sam has left her. Until moments later she hears the revs of a motorcycle getting closer to the building and every-time without fail Cat would wait like a puppy at the door until she comes home.

Sometimes Cat wonders if Sam is colour blind. Like the one time the blonde woman called her clearly purple stuffed giraffe as pink. Or how Sam doesn't notice Cat blushing whenever the blonde laughs because of something she said, or even laughs at one of her own stupid jokes thrown at the redhead. Cat loves Sams laugh, if she could she would bottle it up and listen to it anytime she's sad. She could recognise it in any room, any universe she could instantly trace that laugh back to Sam Puckett. She's never questioned her feelings for the woman, or tried to push them away, because it's Sam. She never wonders how Sam has so many people who love her despite her often reserved and hostile nature, because it's Sam. Everything is Sam. There was before Sam and there will be after Sam, and she never wants to live in either of those times. Because now she lives with this motorcycle riding, chicken loving maniac who cares about her in the strangest way.

Sometimes Cat finds herself lost in the thought of blonde hair and blue eyes. Sam was beautiful, not in the traditional pretty girl way, but in a Sam is a work of art that Cat wants to appreciate kind of beautiful. She was attracted to her strong hands as they gripped her motorcycle handles, she was attracted to her dress sense and how her outfits could only suit her, Cat would wake up every morning hoping that it was cold enough for Sam to wear one of her leather jackets, they were the redheads favourite. The mix of Sam and the old leather was the redhead's favourite scent in the world. But she loved her hair the most, her messy mane of blonde hair and how it did whatever it wanted, defying Sams strokes of her brush until she eventually gave up. It glistened in the sun and bobbed as Sam strutted around, sometimes she wishes she bought one of Dice's bags of the blonde hair to keep in her pocket wherever she went - always carrying a piece of Sam close. She liked Sam from the moment she watched the woman canon dive into the garbage truck to rescue her, but she can't pinpoint the moment that like turned to love, maybe it was the way she would slowly wake in the morning with her raspy sleepy voice asking what time it is, or the look she would give the redhead whenever she did something to impress the blonde woman, or her ruthless selfless nature - or maybe Cat just loved Sam from the moment they met.

But then sometimes Cat gets a bad sinking feeling in her gut, cause she knows that Sam will never love her this much.